


Out on the Town

by fictive_frolic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut, this hows stans thicc thor, thor is thicc in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 13:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictive_frolic/pseuds/fictive_frolic
Summary: This fic is the first I had written in years. It is also posted to the Fictive Frolic tumblr.





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve written in a while. Bear with me while I shake the dust off.

It started as a night out. Thor was back from Asgard and celebrations were being had. Drinks were beginning to flow at their favorite little dive bar, and everything was right. Except for Natasha sending a frenzy of text messages in the corner. Thor looked to Bucky in askance, and all Bucky did was shrug “I dunno, man. She knows everyone.” 

Thor wandered over to the table where she sat and pulled out a chair, “You have to come out.” he heard Natasha say. “Please? Don’t let that piece of shit make you hide away.” She looked at Thor, sudden inspiration on her face, “Besides, Thor’s here, and he’s never even met our Kitchen Witch.” Natasha hit a button on her phone and held it out, “See, listen. It’s fucking boring. We need you.” Thor heard a snuffle and a pale laugh. “Okay. Okay.” said a female voice. “I’ll pull myself together and come out.” The line went dead, and Natasha nodded, satisfied. 

Thor quirked an eyebrow, “Who am I meeting?” he asked, amused. “Y/N,” she said smiling a little. She paused for a moment, chewing on the straw in her drink. “She’s S.H.E.I.L.D.s very own Doctor of all things Occult and Terrestrial,” she said. “It doesn’t hurt that she’s young, cute, and was raised by actual witches.” Clint brought Natasha another drink and grinned, “Y/N is back?” he said, “Excellent! She owes me a drink.” The redhead accepted a bottle with a smile of thanks. “This is a rescue mission Clint,” she said thoughtfully. The smile faded from Clint’s face, and Thor felt his own brow furrow. “We’re saving her from herself. When she got back from Crete today, she found her fiance in bed with her best friend.” Clint flinched, “I think this calls for a team meeting before she gets here.” he said, going to round up the posse. 

It was a quick meeting, mercifully. Everyone, even Thor agreed that it was necessary Y/N have a good time. So by the time Y/N actually arrived a plan was more or less solidified. They would have missed you had Steve not been waiting to usher you to a frankly too small table. You looked like you’d been crying and Sam, Clint, and Steve all swore to find a way to make the bastard pay. Natasha’s solution was the one to actually make you Thor though. A Convoluted plot that ended with the Ex-Fiance naked, alone, and sans passport on Canada with $20 in American money stapled to his scrotum. Thor watched from the pool table with Tony. He already felt the affection for you; the other’s seemed to feel. And he saw the pain they were all so desperate to fix. The tears that seemed to well up unbidden when you thought no one was looking. Your hoodie was at least 2 sizes too large, and your jeans were drawn on and torn. You looked just… adorable. Even heartbroken and uncertain. Tony watched Thor and nodded, “She’s a good, kid.” he said, “Too emotional to be an agent though.” Thor nodded, “What does she do?” he asked. “Who knows?” Tony said laughing a little. “She studies artifacts. She writes papers. She and Bruce have worked together on a few things. She’s pulled our bacon out of the fire a few times with some weird shit… But I don’t think she has a title. She’s kind of like a pet.”

Clint grunted, “A pet that if pressed could level half the City.” he said, “Even before Hydra got a hold of her as a kid and started futzing with her DNA she packed some serious Magical Mojo.” Thor looked from Clint to Tony and nodded, “A valuable Ally then.” he said, “And a dangerous enemy.. He turned and shouted over his shoulder at Natasha, “That I was supposed to be introduced to!” Steve laughed as Natasha dropped her glass and slapped her hand over her mouth “Fuck I forgot!” “Some fucking spy you are.” Clint teased as she dragged Y/N by the hand, blushing and stammering. Natasha squeezed the hand she held and smiled before turning to give Clint the Finger casually. “Thor,” she said, “This is Y/N.” You glance cautiously up at Thor and smile a little, holding out a hand, “Pleased to meet you, finally.” your voice is quiet. Especially quite in the crowded bar. Thor can’t help but feel you making yourself smaller, ill at ease with all the attention. “Lady Y/N,” he said, gentling his usually booming voice, “The pleasure is all mine.” He took your hand and kissed it, the barest blush of his lips across your knuckles, and when he met your eyes, he watched, fascinated as they shifted colors from grey to a crystal blue.

Tony rolled his eyes, “Flirting is my game.” he pouted. You weren’t sure how long you had stood there, a literal God holding your hand but when Tony spoke you felt the connection break, and you withdrew your hand slowly. “I-I think I had a better head home.” you hear yourself say. The whirl of feelings is too much, and everything is too raw. You have too many secrets bursting to get out and well… Secrets weren’t secrets if everyone knew them. There were things you didn’t even want to tell yourself. You notice the god in front of you looking crestfallen but you just… can’t. Natasha pulled you into a hug and kissed your temple, “Come by the Tower tomorrow.” she said, “We’ll train a little.” Clint pulled you into another bone-crushing hug and whispered something that made you smile. As much as you love your friends, all the attention could be hard when you still felt like nothing. 

Steve looked over to the table a short while later, after you were gone. You had one drink in a still full glass on the table. So he took a picture and sent it to Nat. Nat frowned but made a point to file it away for later.

__________________________________________________

The next morning things start slowly in the tower. Thor is the only one without a hanger and takes his time about breakfast. Pop Tarts and coffee, enough to feed a small army. When Natasha appears bleary-eyed and fumbling for her favorite mug Thor gives her half a wave, “Hair of the dog?” he said, offering her a flask. She took it and smiled a little, “Many blessings on your house.” she said, pouring some into her coffee. Thor chuckled, “When you’ve recovered, perhaps you can make sense of your small friend for me.” he said. Natasha nodded, “Y/N is a puzzle that can take some time to piece together.” she said. “ We had one directive, Clint and I. It was our second mission together.” She paused and took a sip of her coffee. “We were supposed to kill her,” she said. “We made a different call.” Thor nodded, “I see, and why were you supposed to kill her.” Natasha sighed, “Because Hydra took a little girl and tried to make her into a monster. S.H.E.I.L.D thought that she was basically a living Atom Bomb.” Thor grunted, thinking, “But she wasn’t?” She shook her head, “She could be. In fact, she can do some terrifying things with her powers but she just… doesn’t. She was maybe 10 years old when they snatched her off the street in front of her school.” Natasha said. “And by the time we got to her, she was 14. She spent 4 years in a cell being tortured and remade and the first thing she did when we rescued her was ask if she could still die.”

Thor blinked, and Natasha nodded in understanding.” That’s what made us decide against killing her, she practically pleaded to die on the floor of that cell because she was so afraid of being experimented on again.” Thor felt a pang in his chest, “Y/N must be very brave.” The spy nodded, “She’s coming by today, I hope. I miss her when she’s away.” Thor smiled a little and Natasha drifted out of the kitchen to go get ready for the day leaving Thor to his thoughts. He kept seeing you, shrinking away from the light, a mouse among giants. An adorable mouse. He decided. And one he would very much like to get to know better.

As it turns out, he got more chances than he thought he would get. Your ex-fiance got you thrown out of your apartment and Tony, in typical Tony fashion, installed you in a room in the tower. Thor learned quickly why the others liked having you around so much. A natural empath you were ever helpful and even-tempered. Always appearing with precisely the right thing to lift some one’s spirits or cool a hot-tempered argument. Not to mention you were a gifted cook. Thor could feel himself thrill at the light tread of your feet. You also felt some attraction to the god but… you held yourself back. Hiding away parts of yourself. Keeping your secrets safe. Saving the biggest secret safe for as long as you could. Though, living in the tower made it hard. Morning Sickness didn’t just happen in the morning apparently. It happened whenever the wind changed. 

A few weeks after you moved to the tower on your morning run, Thor decided to accompany you. He offered you his arm as you headed out the door and smiled, “We’ll greet the day together!” he boomed jovially, and you smiled up at him. God. He was big compared to you. You had to try hard not to stare as he stripped off his shirt and motioned for you to set the pace. You started out, finding a steady rhythm and losing yourself in the sound of your breath and the pounding of your feet. Even still you felt like you had just barely started when you felt your stomach turn over and you had to stop and turn away to avoid vomiting what little you managed to eat for breakfast of the path. Thor made an alarming sound and fumbled for a way to help you, “Lady Y/N,” he said, awkwardly rubbing your shoulder, “are you unwell?” You took a sip from your water bottle to rinse your mouth and nodded, “I’ll be fine.” You look away from the god, ashamed and feeling foolish, studying the ground between you. Thor tipped your chin up, gently, and brushed the hair away from your face; “Whatever battle you face, you need not fight it alone.” He smiled a little, his eyes warming, “I- We- we all care about you very much.“

You feel your cheeks heat under his hands. “I… can’t,” you hear yourself say. “Not yet.” tears started flowing down your cheeks as the full weight of it all bore you slowly and inevitably to your knees. Thor said nothing more. Words were small consolation to pain this immense. So he lowered himself to the ground next to you and simply pulled you against his side. Gently but firmly insisting on holding you until you had had the cry out you needed. You didn’t know why you felt this way. Why it had all broken you the way, it had. Why you felt so ashamed. Shit. The Avengers loved children. No one would look at you any differently. But… but what if they did. She had nowhere else to go.

When you had finally stopped crying Thor wiped tears from your cheeks with his massive thumbs and smiled a little, making you blush. “I’m sorry.” you murmur, “I shouldn’t be such a baby.” Thor took the hand where you still wore the engagement ring you couldn’t make yourself take off, “This man broke a promise to you.” he said seriously, “He broke a vow and he broke your heart.” He touched the ring carefully, “Such a man does not deserve you. You deserve to be treated with reverence. Worshiped and adored.” Thor let go of your hand and made himself stop before adding, “And I would do all those things.” The two of you stand on the path for a long moment before you find your voice, “Thank you, Thor.” The man took your arm gently and guided you back down the path, staying quiet. Giving you time to gather yourself together. Trying very hard not to let himself think about how nice it was to be the one to hold you and help you weather whatever storm had come. 

____________________________________________

“Where has Lady Y/N gone?” Thor boomed over the cacophony at the dinner table, “It’s ill done of us to eat the bounty she prepared without us.” Steve shrugged and swallowed his bite of bread, “She said something this morning when I saw her about going to get some things back from her fiance.” Nat raised an eyebrow and glanced at Clint, “Wait…” she said, “It’s almost 8 o’clock.” Tony laughed a little, “Makeup sex?” he suggested. Thor felt his fists clench involuntarily at the thought. That man… that bastard didn’t deserve any of her affection. The table grew silent, and each Avenger rose slowly. They were going to find her and see her home. Then go find her ex. 

It was Sam who found her. In the hospital. It turned out the Ex had been worse than they had thought. He had shoved her down the stairs. Her body was broken and bruised. Battered enough to land her in an ICU room. By the time Thor arrived Clint and Natasha were there. Clint looked furious, and Natasha was pale. Paler than Thor had ever seen her. “What. Did. He. do?” Thor said, his voice low and rumbling. Steve bounded up the hallway and pulled Nat against him gently. It took Clint a long moment to find his voice. “He shoved her down the stairs. 11 floors over a railing,” he said slowly, fighting to keep himself contained.

"It’s a miracle she’s going to make it but…” Clint glanced at Natasha who swallowed hard and nodded. Clint sighed, “The neighbors heard him yelling right as she was leaving… She told him she was pregnant and was going to keep it. With him or without him. So he pushed her down the railing… told the cops that one way or another he’d have solved his problem.” Tony made a queer choking sound and Bruce pulled him against his side. For the first time, as a team they were helpless. There was nothing they could do to save her or the child she had lost. Thor gazed through the glass, willing her to fight, longing to kiss her, begging her silently to just open her eyes for him. He was only slightly aware of Bruce asking if anyone had even known she was expecting. Thor stayed silent. It wasn’t his story to tell but… after that day on the path he had noticed things. A slight change in her body. And her eating habits. It was a conversation that he needed to have with her. No one else.

___________________________________

Recovery happened. Slowly. You healed and your body healed. It was your spirit that was lagging. Thor was there, just quietly there to hold you up and help soothe all the raw places. For Thor, it was like watching a tree bloom in the Spring. Color flowed around you like a river, and steadily you took your life back. Thor found himself awed by the intensity of the way you hurled yourself into your work. He visited you often, bringing flowers and small gifts from his homeworld. 

He wanted to court you. To give you the things he would give a queen. His queen. But he had time. He could be patient. You found yourself becoming slowly enamored of the god. It wasn’t the gifts it was just… he didn’t ask questions. He accepted you as you were. All your scars and all your secrets. He treated it all as if you were a gift unto yourself and each part of you was one more piece to be cherished. 

The first kiss took you both by surprise. It was a quiet Sunday. You and Thor were practically the only people in the tower. Thor made his rambling way into the kitchen, and you greeted him with a sleepy smile over your coffee cup. “Lady, Y/N,” he chirped, “I thought you were to be gone another week!” You shake your head, “The artifacts were mundane.” you said, “No major significance. Trifles I could make in my spare time.” Thor beamed, “Ah, yes. You have made some remarkable improvements to the wards around the tower. Your craftsmanship is impressive.” You blush at the compliment, and he could feel himself practically preening. “Thank you,” you murmur towards your cup. Thor helps himself to coffee, enjoying the quiet of the morning. Enjoying the way the sunlight made the silky strands of your hair shine. It struck him, watching you blow gently on the coffee that he loved you. That he could do this. Precisely this, every morning. Softly, gently, you feel his rough, calloused hand close over yours. The engagement ring is gone, laid in a box and hidden in a drawer; the tan line it left behind is still there. Slowly he raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed it. “Thor.” you start softly, but the blonde shakes his head. “Just… let me say this,” he said quietly, “I will do whatever you wish after this moment, but I beg you. Let me unburden myself to you now.” You can feel your throat tighten, and you want to pull your hand away, but Thor tightened his grip gently and kissed the tan line across your ring finger. 

“That day at the track,” he started, “Why did you not tell me?” You bite your lip and look down at the table. “I was ashamed. And petrified.” you hear yourself say after a pause. “What did you have to be ashamed of?” he said softly. “Your past? Your choice in men? Giving yourself to someone you loved?” He chuckled, “You have nothing to be ashamed of in this house. With me. With us.” You nod but say nothing and Thor continues. “If you had told me that day, my opinion of you would not have changed. Whatever your choice. You are a woman worthy of better than me, but it has been my honor to be your friend these past months. In another life, you would have made a fierce Valkyrie.” He smiled fondly. “I am honored to be your friend but if I were to be able to call you my love, I would never want for anything.” 

You feel tears sting your eyes and before you can stop yourself you’ve pulled him down, tangling your fingers in his hair to give him a kiss that Thor would one day swear felt like taking a shot of good whiskey. He gentled you and when you pulled away he chuckled, kissing your nose. “Is that a yes? My fierce little Valkyrie.” You nod unable to find the words for him and he laughed, tugging you into his lap careful of your still healing body, and for the next few minutes there was no more talking. Thor wiped the tears from your cheeks and kissed you again, beaming. You snuggle into his broad chest and sigh. Safe and warm. Feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day after the first kisses in the kitchen, Thor found himself called home to Asgard. You felt sadness but also joy. He promised to return quickly. Without him there you had time to process your feelings and adjust to having someone once again holding your heart in their hands. It was also lovely to have time to decide how to handle others. 

Two weeks as it turned out and you missed him. You missed him terribly so when the offer to go out with the others was extended, you took it. Drowning your sorrows and joining in the revelry with everything you had… So that when Thor did appear you were very drunk. 

And very exuberant and entertaining. He watched for a moment, just watching you. Laughing as you told a story. He reflected to himself that he loved that sound. He’d only heard it once before… When Clint had done something behind Tony, he hadn’t seen. But he loved it. Just the joy of it. He beamed. He couldn’t hear what you were saying exactly, but it didn’t matter. The animation in your face looked so much better than when you were so numb and frozen. 

You felt someone watching you and turned, looking. To see Thor there and beaming. At you no less. It took less than a moment for you to be out of your seat. “Thor!” you shouted, leaping into his arms. Your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. He caught you, chuckling as you kissed him soundly on the lips. He clutched you to him, sliding a hand over the roundness of your bottom, tangling his fingers in your hair. 

The others stopped, staring. Bucky was the first one to recover his voice, “Damn it. Why does no one ever greet me like that?” Sam snorted, “I tried that once, and you dropped me.” Clint glanced at Natasha, and she discretely palmed him a $50 bill, “Alcohol.” she snorted.

Thor broke away from you, grinning. “Missed me?” he teased. You tasted like fruity alcohol and smelled like home. “Very much,” you say, blushing when he swatted your ass. He lifted you like you didn’t weigh anything and seemed quite willing to stay that way for a while. His eyes were warm, and he captured your lips in another kiss.

Everyone was staring, and you couldn’t even care. He was here. And so very beautiful when he smiled. “My Valkyrie,” he chuckled, “you are very drunk.” You shrugged and grinned at him, “And?” The god of thunder kissed your nose and threw you over his shoulder, marching towards the bar,“ I would like to join you.” You squealed, starting to giggle and he swatted you again before sitting you upright on a stool. “Another drink for Lady Y/N and a tankard of Ale for me please,” he said to the bartender. 

You leaned back against him, and he kissed the top of your head, “I’d love to have you wrapped around me again later this evening.” he murmured against your ear, making your cheeks burn. “Maybe,” you say, trying to tease and hide the fact that your stomach was twisting its self into knots. Thor chuckled and kissed the curve of your bare shoulder lovingly, happily oblivious as he started his drink.

Steve leaned against the bar, zippo lighter in hand, “Show me how to do the thing.” he demanded of you. 

Thor quirked an eyebrow, “The thing?” he asked. You snorted and took the lighter from his hand. It flew between the fingers of your hand, faster and faster until it was open and ignited while your other hand still rested on the bar. “How?” Steve asked, incredulous. “Practice.” you say, “15 years of it… More or less.” Steve shook his head and picked up the lighter to try. Thor watched and kissed your shoulder again, “A nice trick.” he chuckled, where did you learn it?“

You shrug, "Mom was in a band. I spent most of my childhood… Before I was a lab experiment traipsing after her through bars like this.” Thor frowned at you calling yourself an experiment and tightened his arms around you reflexively. The tone in your voice warning him not to tread too deeply into those waters.

The god swept hair off the nape of your neck to kiss it, and you wiggled to situate yourself where you could watch the others. Dive bars all smelled the same, you thought. Stale smoke, spilled beer, polished wood. It was a whole other life ago, but you still felt yourself looking for your mom. It felt like she’s just pop up with a guitar and a new band any moment. You wondered if she was still alive. If she looked for you. The others were talking and laughing. Playing games. Thor engaged in lively conversation with Bruce. Always near you, close to your side. It felt good to have him back. You watched the two men chat, smiling slightly. They were engrossed. So you wandered off to join Cap, who was watching Sam and Bucky play pool.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Cap said offering you a seat. “Hey,” you say punching him lightly on the shoulder. “He’s not your usual type,” he teased gently, rubbing his arm as if it had actually stung, “but I approve. He seems thoroughly smitten. You deserve that.” You bite your tongue to keep from protesting, and Steve pats your forearm, “Trust me.” he said fondly, “Us lab rats have to stick together, right?” You smile a little, remembering the conversation where you’d said something similar. It had inadvertently given you and Steve and Bruce, and Natasha, and Bucky a Trivia team name. Steve took a drink from his beer, and for several minutes the two sat in companionable silence. The soldier was good at that. Knowing when not to talk. You thought it must be a warrior thing. Thor, Bucky, Sam, Nat, Steve, Clint… they all knew when to stay quiet. It was an underrated talent. When you excused yourself for another drink, Steve watched you walk away; he also watched Thor’s whole face soften as he pulled you into his side so he could just be near you. That was all he needed to know right there. The god would love you for as long as he lived. 

Thor had seen you sitting with Steve, and he wondered what you had talked about. He wasn’t jealous. He knew that Steve wasn’t that type of man, but he just needed to know. He could sense the shift in your mood, and he just wanted to know. He watched you order a drink and took a moment to admire your backside. He’d not seen much of your body. In fact, hardly any as you covered most of your self at all times so far as he had seen. What he had felt though, had felt made for pleasure. Made to be worshipped. He hadn’t been merely teasing when he voiced that he wanted her wrapped around him in entirely another context. In the back of his mind, he still felt your legs on his waist. Bruce snorted, “Easy, Thor.” The god smiled a little, “Do not worry, Banner,” he said, “I would not harm her. Not knowingly by word or Deed.” Banner nodded, “That’s good to know. She’s dear to all of us.” Thor beamed, “A singular lady, she is.” Bruce turned to order a water and turned back just in time to see Natasha kiss you on the cheek and brush hair from your eyes. It was sisterly and whatever she was teasing you about made you burst out laughing as it made your cheeks color. Bruce rolled his eyes and smiled, “Whatever is about to happen can’t be good.”

Before anyone really knew what was happening Natasha had your drink in her hand, and you were very standing in front of a wall. Thor looked at Bruce in askance, and Bruce sighed. “Why. Why the fuck is THIS the field sobriety test?” He’d just barely gotten it out when you were running headlong at the wall. Thor gasped involuntarily. At that speed, you would seriously injure yourself. Or at least you would have had you not parkour’ ed yourself into a backflip off of the said wall. You took a bow, Enjoying the applause for a moment before reclaiming your drink and giving Natasha the finger. She grinned and stuck her tongue out at you as you walked away. 

Bruce sighed, “What will you do when you CAN’T run up the wall?” he teased. “Die?” you say shrugging. “Or at least temporarily break me.” Thor pulled you into his lap and kissed you, “No breaking.” he said sternly. Bruce snorted, “You should see that she can do on a tight rope.” You laugh at the confusion on the Asgardian’s face, “After I was rescued my Mom’s family took me in.” she said. “They have a circus. I learned acrobatic stunts.” Thor beamed, “You shall have to show me!” You shrug, “Sure. I’m not the greatest but… It does help me get out of the way in battle. I’m not really good at combat magic.” Thor kissed your free hand looking like he’d quite like to do more than just kissing and you feel your cheeks blaze. Bruce coughed and made his way over to Nat just to get out of the way. He did not need the mental image that the look on Thor’s face was inspiring. 

Thor could feel himself harden and tried not to groan. Or squirm. “You, look delectable, Y/N” he murmured against your neck. Your stomach twisted again, and Thor pulled away slightly, feeling the tension in your body. “Y/N,” he said quietly, “please, what can I do?” You hide your face in his shoulder. Protecting your face and your eyes from him. Thor let you hide gently stroking your back, humming tunelessly. He could feel you, and you felt like heaven. Warm. Soft. He wanted to spend hours giving you pleasure. To feel you in bliss all around him. But only on your terms. He had time. Aside from that, the longer he waited, the better you would feel. The more he understood of you, the better to give you pleasure. “I’m sorry,” you whisper against his sweater. “ “Don’t be sorry, my dearest.” he murmured. “You don’t owe me your body,” he said. “Let me take you home. Let me hold you until morning. That’s all I need until you’re ready.”

You look up at him, blush blooming across your cheeks, lips parted slightly. “I am drained, I had a long day trying to bury myself in work so that I wouldn’t go crazy missing you.” Thor kissed your forehead, “Well then, my Valkyrie, allow me to take you home.” 

You hardly remember getting home. But you do remember the feel of warm, calloused hands on your back and the feeling of sleeping without even the hint of a nightmare for the first time you can remember. True to his word, pajamas stayed on, and his touches were sweet. Not meant to arouse but to comfort. Thor himself struggled to sleep, not that he really wanted to. He tried to memorize every detail of your face. He didn’t want to sleep for fear that having you in his arms safe and sound was naught but a dream. When you do wake, groggy and with a headache, Thor is asleep. Handsome and disheveled you lean down and kiss him softly before easing out of his bed and going in search of coffee. 

The others who are awake tease you making you blush and stammer that nothing happened making Tony nearly spit out his coffee, “Wait. What?” he half shouted in disbelief, “You mean to tell me that Y/N and Goldilocks are hooking up and no one told me? Ridiculous.” You know Tony is teasing. But it still stings. Casual affairs aren’t your style. You retreat mumbling that it wasn’t a hookup, going back to your own room to shower and change. You need to move. Suddenly you need to run. In your haste to leave you miss Steve hurling a wad of paper at Tony and telling him to shut up.

Thor rolled over in his sleep, searching for you. When he finds warmed bedding instead of your warm body his eyes open, and he sighs, disappointed. He’d been hoping to get some sleepy kisses, but then, you’re an early riser. A product he supposed of how little you tend to need sleep. So he pulled himself up and went to take a cold shower. Partially to wake up and partly to master himself before he saw you again. He’d meant what he said. He couldn’t bear the thought of having coerced you into his bed in any way. You would come to him willingly he knew, you just needed time. The kiss you greeted him with in the bar had made that quite clear. Once he was dressed, he made his way downstairs. He blushed slightly at the stares he was getting, “Okay.” Tony said, “I’ve been told I can’t call it a hookup, so what exactly did happen?” Bruce thudded his head on the table and groaned, and several others sighed in exasperation. Thor only raised his eyebrows, “I do not know why you think you need to know what happened between Lady Y/N and me, but I assure you, my intentions are honorable.”

Tony sighed, “Fine. Don’t tell me then.” Thor fixed his coffee and caught Clint’s eye, nodding slightly to acknowledge the other man’s assessment of him, “I won’t,” he said, “She is a lady and her private matters are her own.” Coffee fixed Thor strolled out of the kitchen, whistling. It was indeed satisfying to thwart Tony’s disrespectful inquiries. The man was incorrigible. Still, he hadn’t been lying when he had said his intentions were honorable. So he followed his instincts and went to a training room. You always hit a training room after your coffee. The god Paused at the entrance, watching you.

Your face was stormy, and he could practically feel the temper radiating off of you. He suddenly wished he’d punched Tony in the mouth. He made himself comfortable against the wall, watching. You moved with a natural grace and speed. From a distance, he would make out much of your form. Yoga shorts and tank tops were a gift. Supple and soft but healthy. This was the first time actually seeing you in less than full coverage. His heart raced a little faster, and he bit back a groan and a curse. So much for mastering himself. He wanted to join you on the mats, but he held himself back. He knew you’d work until your muscles trembled with exhaustion. It helped when your mind raced, and your emotions roiled. He also knew the impulse was selfish. He really just wanted to touch you. 

You didn’t see Thor. Distracted by your own thoughts. Plans for your day, things to be done. As you got closer to him reaching for your towel, you were still lost in thought. Until you heard a sharp intake of breath. Out of habit you wrap your towel around yourself and turn away. Your body is scarred. Ugly. Not worthy of the man sitting against the wall. You shrink into yourself, hoping to get past him. Cover yourself. But Thor is quick. He catches you, turning over your arm to see the inside of your wrist. Scars that never healed right run down the inside of your forearm.

You aren’t really sure how they got there. You just remember the blood. You were maybe 11. In despair. Hopeless. You would have done anything to make the pain stop. Thor doesn’t say a word, he simply pulls you to him, “My Valkyrie.” he murmured, “Please don’t pull away.” You can’t help it. You feel naked. You feel exposed. Tears start flowing as the panic rises in your chest. Thor just holds on, crooning soothing things at you, letting you cry until you’re spent, a rag doll in his arms. When you start to sink to the floor, your strength gone, he drops with you. Holding you. He kisses every scar he can reach. You are a warrior. “I am not worthy of you,” he said. “But I will endeavor to be from now on.” When you don’t speak, he lifts you, cradling you carefully and takes you to his room. Something feels better when he holds you. Something soothed when he didn’t flinch away from you. When he wasn’t repulsed.

Thor sets you lovingly on his bed and goes to his bathroom, turning the water to a comfortable temperature, he intends to pamper you. Soothe you. Show you that there is no part of you he can’t love. He returned to you, removing his own shirt and kneeling in front of you, “Let me give you my love?” he asked, “Let me show you the way a Queen should be treated.” He squeezes your hands and smiles. So earnest and loving that the last of your resistance fades and you nod slowly, carding your fingers through his thick blonde hair. He kisses you tenderly and carefully begins to undress you. Mindful of every scar, kissing them as he uncovers them.

Aware of every bit of tension he feels in your body. There are no words. Only actions. Kisses and Caresses until there is no more fear of what he might think. Once you’re bare in his bed, every inch of you exposed and vulnerable, he removes his trousers. You swallow hard. Thor is not your first sexual partner but… he is the most beautiful. The trail of pale hair down his belly is just begging to be kissed, and you bite your lip. Thor beams and lightly strokes your calf. He can’t help but be pleased with the heat in your eyes. He holds out his hands to you, inviting you to come with him and you do. You need to touch him. To be touched by him. He’s the first lover you’ve ever had to make you want them. Everyone else made lust a chore. An obligation. Under his touch, you feel more than you’ve ever felt and damn it if you don’t want more.

Under the warm water, Thor turns his attention to pampering you. The way he touches you is not overtly sexual. But it is pleasing none the less. Warm, calloused hand slide over your wet skin and ease away the mornings hurt, drowning them in other more comfortable feelings. You can feel his arousal. The hardness of him but he doesn’t seem interested in letting you touch him. Not yet. He seems intent on making sure you never doubt how much he adores you. Kisses flutter across your breasts and playful squeezes on your bottom when you sigh in want. You can feel your clit throb, and you want to beg him to touch you, but you can tell from his calm manner that he won’t not until he’s reduced you to a puddle of lust and physical need. “Thor,” you say softly. His name murmured like a prayer.

The god stops for a moment and catches your lips in a kiss that makes your knees go weak. When he pulls away, he looks into your eyes. They’re violet. The same shade as Amethyst stones. He grins at you, lust naked in his eyes. “Please,” you hear yourself say. And no more words are necessary. He knows. He can feel the need in you, and he lets you stroke his arousal gently so you can feel that he needs you too. He dries you in a warm, soft towel and then sees to himself before carrying you to his bed. “I want you astride me,” he said roughly. He wanted you in control. He wasn’t sure if he could be restrained enough to go at a comfortable pace.

He lets you straddle his hips, and you blush when he cups your ass in his massive hands, making him chuckle. Aside from that, he’s still letting you adjust as you slowly slide down onto him. “Fuck.” he gasped, “Oh, Y/N. This feels better than I imagined.” Your cheeks flame and you stifle a moan as you feel him fill you. “Let me hear you, my Valkyrie.” he pleaded, and you lean forward to kiss him, nodding. The kiss is searing. It makes him groan and tighten his grip on your bottom. And when you start to move on his prick, the feeling is intense. He pleads for you not to stop and you moan, begging him for more. So he reached between you, stroking your clit. All he needs is to see you climax. To feel you in bliss before he goes over the edge. And you do. Crying out for him and pulling him to you desperately. White rose petals drifting down on the bed all around you. Your bliss sends Thor into a climax of his own, and he bellows, burying his face in your breasts, panting.

When you carefully move off of him, you look at the white petals, blushing furiously. That’s never happened before. Thor picks one of them out of your hair and studies it, grinning at you, “Rose Petals, Y/N?” he said, “I thought I was supposed to be giving you flowers.” You cover your face with your hands mortified, “I… That’s never happened before.” you say. “Well,” Thor declared, pulling your hands away from your face gently and kissing your nose, “I rather like it… Love it in fact. I shall have to make it happen again.” And then he kissed you, and there was no more embarrassment. Only helpless giggles and he endeavored to do it once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor began sending you white roses. It started as teasing you for the explosions of blossoms that happened almost nightly in his bed and became him saying he never stopped thinking of you. Never didn’t want to be near you. And it didn’t take long for the others to notice. When Thor was away, white roses came at least every other day, and when he was in Midgard, he delivered a small bouquet of them to you himself with a kiss and a cup of coffee.

Natasha was the first one to ask. You were sparring, and she laughed when you stammered out a mortified explanation of what had happened. “That good, huh?” she asked, teasing and your blush made her snort. “I just… I’d never.” you bite your tongue to mortified to continue, and Natasha stopped swinging at you. “You mean to tell me you almost married someone who never made you come?” she asked incredulously. You shrug, “It took a lot of mental energy to hide all my … Imperfections from him.” you say gesturing to the scars that crisscrossed your body. “And Thor has seen them?” you swallow hard and nod. Even knowing that he didn’t care about them, you did. You still took showers in the dark on especially bad days. Natasha let the matter drop. You’d work through it. It was only a matter of time.

Post work out, of course, Natasha told Bruce. It was cute. So cute in fact that it was only Bruce’s sheer force of will that kept it from going further than him. He did have a new appreciation for Thor though. The white roses weren’t subtle, but they did always remind you that you were wanted. The change was obvious. You glowed. It wasn’t the happiness you wore because it was a place to hide, you just were happy. And it came through in your work.

Thor watched you and Banner, your head cocked to the side as he tried to put quantum physics in terms you could understand. The wheels were turning but… You were not a scientist. You were a witch. A powerful one. Powerful enough to help Bruce bring magic to science. Bruce just had to figure out how to bring science to you. Thor couldn’t hear the words, but he could see the confusion. Banner, bless him only smiled and suggested a break. You weren’t stupid. Not by any means. Thor appreciated the other man recognizing intelligence different from his but equal. The god simply waited and held his arms out for you to walk into when the lab doors slid open. 

You walk straight into his arms with a groan. “Math is the devil,” you say pouting. Thor laughed and tilted your chin up, “Come. Things will look brighter after a walk.” he chirped. You nod and let him steer you towards the nearest door outside. He watched you stretch reaching towards the sun. Some of the tension and frustration already leaving your face. “How was your mission?” you ask not wanting to talk about math. Or magic. “Fine.” he said, “Perfectly fine. Everyone is safe, and that branch of Hydra is no more.” You smile up at him and lace your fingers through his. “They’re probably taking things to your workshop as we speak.” he said fondly, “There were several artifacts for you to study.” You nod thoughtfully and turn your face to the breeze half hoping it will clear the cobwebs from your brain.

Thor could feel the crackle of magic as you held your palm out, turning energy to a tangible form you could play with as they walked. He knew you were going to chew on that problem until there was a solution. Or at least a place to start. He let go of your hand and watched you twist the energy in your hands. Shapeless energy to matter. When you made it a ball, he held out his hand for you to toss it to him and you did. It felt fresh and made his fingers tingle. For several minutes you threw it back and forth as you walked until you stopped on the path.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” you say sharply dismissing the energy smacking your forehead. Thor stopped and cocked his head. “We’ve been doing this backward,” she said. “Why don’t we do the magic and use the science… It’s metaphysical. Not quantum mechanics. It doesn’t have linear rules so we can’t use a linear system. Magic is more emotion and sensation than logic. You have to will it into being… Science exists whether you want it to or not.”

Thor nodded, thinking about your words, “But can you do the experiment?” he asked gently. You dismiss the concerns and sigh, “If I can provide a baseline we can work from there. Bruce might need blood and some bone. Maybe hair. But he’s not going to strap me to a table and try to manipulate my DNA and alter my body.” Thor looked down at you, pride in his face, “You’re more clever than you think.” he said. He gripped your shoulders and rubbed your bare arms bracingly, “Where do you start?” You look up at the sky and then consult your watch, “Sundown” you answer, “It’ll be easier for Bruce to get energy readings on Minor Arcana spells.” The god grinned, “Excellent. I have time to get a decent meal in front of you.” You pull him down for a kiss and sigh, “I think I’d rather get sleep. Food hasn’t been a good idea in the last few days.”

Thor searched your face. The balance was a struggle for you. And being out of balance made your emotions harder to manage. “Have you eaten today?” he asked carefully. You shook your head and look away. “Try for me?” he asked softly. You look up at him and smile a little, “I’m not even hungry. Nothing sounds good. Or tastes good when I can eat it.” Thor nodded and kissed you tenderly, “Then, for now, we’ll get you some rest,” he said. “Later,” he murmured, “we’ll eat.” You text Bruce the plan and make sure to go into specific details of what equipment you remembered them using on you years ago for readings.

Thor steered you inside and brought you to his room, Your bed was too small for him to lay on comfortably and he wasn’t about to let you not be near him. He gently took your clothes off and disrobed himself before tucking you in. He could see you’d lost some weight and made a note to make sure he got a decent meal into you tonight. He stroked your back lazily and started to say something to you only to see you were already asleep, drooling into the pillow with hair covering your face. He grinned and closed his eyes. Small victories. A walk and a nap. You’d be better before nightfall.

——————————————–

Thor woke you with kisses down your spine and a gentle swat on the backside. Coffee mug in his other hand that he handed to you as you sat upright. “Welcome back to consciousness, dearest.” he teased. You cradled the mug and sipped cautiously not awake enough to tease back. Thor watched you remembering how to be awake fondly as he laid out clothes he took from your room making sure to add one of his hoodies for you to snuggle into. “Shower?” he asked, tugging an errant lock of hair gently behind your ear. It took a moment, but you nod. Thor wondered how long it had been since you slept adequately and if he should have let you sleep longer, but you were awake now, so he started the water and shoo'ed you towards the bathroom chucking. He changed his own clothes and listened to you sing to yourself as he shaved his face. You had a sweet voice. Untrained but clear. You only sang when you thought no one could hear, so Thor stayed quiet to listen a bit longer. He didn’t know the song be he recognized the language. Irish Gaelic. Pretty. Lilting. A relic in this time but then… So was he in a sense.

When you came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, he smiled as you wrapped your arms around him from behind and kissed the middle of his back. “Thank you, sweetheart,” you said. And Thor felt a thrill. You didn’t use endearments often. They didn’t feel right when you said them, you said. But to him, they sounded beautiful.

Thor hummed at you and smiled, watching as you pulled on your clothing in the mirror. He decided comfortable was the order of the day for being in Bruce’s lab. A blue t-shirt and some worn, faded jeans you liked. Flip flops instead of proper shoes since you preferred to be barefoot whenever possible. In his hoodie, you looked smaller. Somehow cuter as you rolled the sleeves back to have use of your hands. He saw you pause at the door and take a deep breath before leaving and felt a sting of apprehension. You were terrified of being experimented on again. He knew this was just… Machines. Only readings so Bruce could see what you were doing, but he hoped to Valhalla you’d not be scared.

In the lab Bruce was careful. He made sure you stayed in your comfort zone. The box you had fetched from your room was full of implements you needed for minor spells. Most of them you didn’t even need the physical objects for, but Bruce asked for them so he could know how the energy moved to understand how to incorporate it into other things. It helped that he made his lab, at least the Area he was using for tests look like a lecture hall of sorts. You were used to lecture halls. As a foremost expert on terrestrial magic, you presented at colleges all over the place. Mostly to Anthropology students who treated it as a cultural construct. So you took a deep breath and lectured. You looked like you were wired for space. Bruce looked at the scans as you talked him through what you were doing. He asked few questions afraid to disrupt your flow and skew the results. A few of the team came to watch. Natasha met Bruce’s eye, and he nodded. The monitor he had on your heart was steady. Nothing to indicate panic.

Thor watched you enraptured. You had a gift for teaching. Engaging and enthusiastic you had a passion for your craft born of talent and years of study. He would dearly love to take you to Asgard and show you the libraries. Perhaps someday soon. His mother would love you. His father would just have to learn to love you; he decided. It was a good plan he thought. Perhaps he could even coax you into coming home with him more often.

Bruce tested you for hours until he could see your energy level flagging. Even minor spells took effort, and he had you maintain them as long as you could to get more data. As Banner unhooked you from the machines, the tension you had kept tightly concealed started to release, and you sank to the floor, breathing hard. “You okay?” he asked. You nod, “Just tired. Even the minor Arcana can exhaust you if you aren’t careful.” Bruce nodded and made a note of it. “Is minor arcana your term or the official one?” he asked. “Common among practitioners. Named for the Tarot.” you clarified. Bruce nodded and offered her a hand up, “Those few spells are the first few I learned,” you said taking his hand, “I was maybe 5. Under ordinary circumstances, I can hold them for a full day or more, but my attention was divided. Controlling my feelings, the magic, and trying to be clear in my explanations… Typically I only do one at a time.” Bruce nodded also noting that “Does your body temperature typically fluctuate that much?” he asked. You nodded “Energy in is higher. Energy out is lower.”

Thor looked at the readings on the screen. He could see how you were so tired after a mission. It was a constant whirl of emotions and manipulations to the environment all controlled through sheer willpower. You looked tired now. Tired and anxious. Bruce hugged you and smiled, “You look wrecked.” he said, “I think you need some sleep. We’ll look over it all tomorrow.” Thor put a hand on your shoulder, “I concur,” he said, “Food and sleep.” He felt you tense under his hand and let you go. You were prickly feeling, crackling with energy and irritation. You left wordlessly. Still, bare feet silent in the hall as you made an escape from all the well-meaning meddling, angry at yourself. The panic that had tried to rise in your chest made you feel like a foolish child. You supposed that compared to everyone else you were. You just wanted to go. Somewhere. Anywhere. So you did. You took your keys, took the hard top off your jeep and just set off into the night.

Thor watched the taillights disappear around the corner. You had no money or shoes. He wasn’t sure what you were doing, but it was clear you didn’t want to be accompanied. Barton came and stood next to him, “She’s not going to go far.” he said confidently. “There’s a lake she goes to… She’ll swim. Watch the stars. Think. Especially when she gets tired of feeling like a stupid kid mascot.” Clint smiled a little, “Nat and I treat her like a child because no matter how old she gets we still see a scared little girl starving to death in a cage.“

Thor winced, and the archer continued, “She’s not made of glass, Thor. She’s got a vibranium core underneath it all. It’s the only reason she’s still alive. Just remember that. Love her. But don’t. Don’t make her doubt everything she’s worked so hard for. The peace she managed to give herself.” Thor nodded, “Thank you, Barton.” he said solemnly. Clint nodded, “She’ll be back. Probably tonight. Maybe early morning,” he smiled a little, “She loves you. She desperately loves you.” Thor sighed. He wanted to say that you had never said it, but the other man seemed to know. Clint could only shrug, “She’s a law unto herself Thor, she answers to herself and sometimes to Fury. She’s been controlled before. And some part of her will forever resist giving her power back to anyone else… To love another person is to hand them control.” Thor made a thoughtful sound and considered what Clint had said. Clint stared up at the sky. He remembered your first time seeing the air after so long. It was a night like this, warm and bright. “She loves you so much I think it scares her,” he said after a long moment. 

Thor leaned on the railing, thinking of you. Your resistance to any change. The warmth you exuded. The glorious contradiction that threw his life in a direction he never thought he would go, helplessly devoted to a woman. Clint watched him for a second, thinking. “Come with me,” he said finally, turning and walking back into the building. 

He leads Thor through a labyrinth of passages into a room where he had never been and sat at a computer terminal, pulling up a file. “I didn’t want to show you this.” he said, “Y/N asked me years ago if I knew this information and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. I couldn’t do it. Nat couldn’t. Not even Fury could do it.” He pulled back to let Thor read it. It was vile. Y/N had not been snatched off the street. She’d been traded. Traded for power. Her own mother had been somewhere at the bottom of the heap in Hydra, and when her daughter had been born more powerful, she’d been used as a bargaining chip. Thor felt sick. He wanted to vomit. To find the woman and strangle her with his bare hands. Clint sighed, “Nat and I have been running interference for years. She’s still looking for her mom. Wondering if somewhere that bitch is looking for her too.” Thor glared at him, and Clint held up his hands, “We couldn’t just say that to her. It would have destroyed her.” Thor slammed his hand down on the desk, “Like it won’t destroy her now? Like she wouldn’t have been betrayed twice?” Clint hung his head, “She was so small,” he said, “She was just a kid, A scared superhuman kid. Her family wouldn’t even take her after what they did to her. It’s a childhood friend of mine that took her in. She has no family. Her father… fuck only knows who he was. We could save her life but only if we lied to her. It was the only way we could give her a chance.” Clint’s eyes were over bright, and he took a deep breath. “Whatever happens. Just know. We fucking tried.”

Thor felt the weight of all that settle into his chest, and he clapped Barton on the shoulder, “I’ll forever be grateful to you, but I won’t lie for you. If she asks me I will tell her. The other man nodded, “Nat is going to be furious with me, but if this is going to continue between you I thought you should know.” Thor nodded, and Clint continued, “If everything dissolves between you and you use this to hurt her…” Thor held up a hand to stop him, “If that ever happens I give you permission to rend my head from my shoulders. But I can tell you this. I have no intention of letting Y/N go. She is the queen of my heart, if not my kingdom.” Clint smiled a little, “That’s beautiful. You should write for Hallmark.” Thor snorted but said nothing else, walking away to think. He wanted to pull you into his bed… your bed, any bed really and hold you until the pain he felt for you faded. Instead, he found his way to the kitchen and made himself some coffee, settling in to wait for you. 

In the wee small hours of the morning, you padded in. Calm, cool and collected as you set about making breakfast. Thor was snoring lightly in the chair, head dropped towards his chest, and the rattling around woke him after a few minutes. He stood and watched you, “I’m sorry.” you blurted out. “I just… I needed to get out. I didn’t want to sleep. Or food. I wanted to just… go.” Thor closed the distance between you and kissed you, hard. He poured all the pent up longing and want into that kiss. The need to tell you everything pressed on him, and he kissed you until it stopped. Until you melted into him and he lifted you on to the counter, hands in your hair. When you pulled away, he let you. “Thor,” you said softly, “What happened?” He swallowed hard and you cupped his cheek in your hand. “Let me help,” you plead softly. A kiss like that did not just mean “Good morning.” He wanted to tell you. He wanted you to know because it killed him to see you now, knowing what he knew. Seeing you though, wide trusting eyes and furrowed brow. He understood. He understood how Barton and Natasha had been able to lie to you for so long. So he smiled, “I was worried about you, Y/N. I’m happy to see you home safe.”


	4. Chapter 4

Thor steadily adjusts to the weight of the secret he now shares with Clint and Natasha. Seeing you happy and getting healthier all the time makes it easier. He wants to confide in you but the fear of devastating you that way holds him back. Thor can feel himself becoming a better liar and he hates it though he had to admit it was handy. Loki would have been proud of the way he answered you with half-truths and deflections.

Natasha nor Clint would speak to him about it but the Spy made her displeasure known. Her frosty stare made the hair on the back of Thor’s neck stand up and it only stopped after a late night chat. Thor poured Natasha a shot of Vodka and set it on the kitchen table. A peace offering. “I can’t tell her, can I?” he asked. Natasha shook her head and took the shot, “Clint and I tried once after she got her doctorate… Neither of us could get it out.” Thor nodded, the shot of alcohol reminded him, “Is her memory of her childhood accurate?” he wondered, “Did she grow up in bars and such?” The spy nodded, “Being a Hydra peon with a couple of two-bit magic tricks doesn’t pay very well. That part of her memory is accurate. But I don’t think she can remember what her mother looks like after everything they screwed around with in her brain to make her unstable enough to control.” Thor made a thoughtful noise, “I always thought Lady Y/Ns powers made her unstable.” Natasha snorted, “Power you possess is an internal force projected onto the Universe. The power given to you by any other means is the Universe acting on you.” she said in a spot on impersonation of you. “Hydra made her faster. And physically Stronger. But they didn’t give her the powers she has. They did change her DNA and her brain chemistry but the actual powers are all hers.” Thor leaned back in his chair, hands folded across his stomach. You were helping Steve and Bucky on a mission. Fighting Hydra. He wondered at the strength of will it would take to walk into the lion’s den that way. Nat copied his posture, some of the stony expression leaving her face. Mollified for now that Thor would keep this secret. “So,” she said, mischief in her eyes, “white roses huh?”

Thor felt his face heat but he couldn’t stop the slow smile that spread across his face. He still hasn’t managed to clean them all up from the night before you left, “Just the petals.” he said, laughing. The tension left the air and the spy stood, patting his shoulder as she passed him for bed. Thor stayed in the kitchen his bed was too big without you and he avoided it as long as possible. Whether on Midgard or Asgard your body tucked safely next to his. Your heat. Your scent. The smell of roses after he’d loved you well. Without that he just didn’t sleep the same anymore.

He’d lie awake just aching for you. Trying to imagine you. Your future together. He wondered if there would be children. If you’d want them after the pain of your last experience. He’d like children, he decided. 3 of them at least if you’d want them. He planned your wedding (in Asgard. In his mother’s grove of cherry trees. You’d carry white roses and he’d find you an exquisite Amethyst ring.) Sometimes the planning was enough that he could sleep finally but he always woke with his face in your pillow. The god sighed. It was going to be a long night. This was a longer mission than they usually sent you on. You did the cleanup. The containment. Not usually the fighting. He was anxious about not being there to protect you but, as he pictured you fierce and unstoppable. A Valkyrie with a whip and a sword… Well. It was likely best he wasn’t there. The mental image was appealing. He would be more a hindrance than a help as he drowned in lust watching you. Thor stretched and groaned trying not to dwell on that. He didn’t enjoy sexual frustration. He didn’t like waiting. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. Especially you. Food. Alcohol. And you. Those were his vices and without you, the other two were paltry compensation. You made everything better. Food tasted better when you cooked it and Alcohol was more pleasant in your company. Thor forced himself to his feet and went to go train. Perhaps if he could physically exhaust himself he could get some needed sleep.

The mission was dragging on and you were irritated. As you lash out with your whip pulling a goon off the ladder so he couldn’t shoot Bucky you’re practically growling. You’ve got energy crackling near you ready to be used all you need is the order. Lash and Slash. Cover the Captain. Heal Bucky. Rinse and repeat in a new order. They just keep coming so you keep going. At one point you have your whip in one hand and sword in the other, swinging over some goons to help a team off pinned down rookies. The battle takes days and the clean up takes days more. You just want to sleep. And a fucking cinnamon roll. It’s all you want to eat. You’re too tired and mentally worn to think much beyond that. By the time you’re on the way home all you want is a cinnamon roll and for Thor to make love to you until the leftover magical energy that’s making you feel raw and irritable is gone and you can sleep. 20 hours awake and you’d happily stab both Cap and Bucky who are asleep and fucking snoring. The only thing that saved them is that they brought you a cinnamon roll the size of a small infant and a bottle of wine to enjoy on the flight.

As you walk down the gangplank of the plane you’re tipsy having had your wine and then several shots courtesy of Tony’s contract rider for a mini bar. And groggy. And jet lagged. Thor is waiting for you. You’re too tired to launch yourself at him but when you do reach him you kiss him. Hard. Pulling him towards you, one hand fisting in his hair the other on his hip. He can feel the raw energy you didn’t dispel crackling around you. Keeping you upright through a have of alcohol and exhaustion. When he pulled away to take a breath he grinned at you, “Welcome home.” he said, “Gods woman I missed you.” His smile makes you shiver in want and you kiss him again. You can’t seem to make words work. You have one thought. You need him. You need him to make everything right. Thor doesn’t need you to speak. He’s a warrior. He understands the need coursing through. He’s felt it himself. Many times. And he’s all too happy to oblige you. You taste like sugar. And liquor and now all he needs is the smell of roses so he can sleep.

Upstairs in his bedroom, he gives you exactly what you need. You return his favors energetically taking everything he has to give you and giving back everything you can. Rose petals accumulate like snow and when you’re finally spent, the energy went from you Thor looks around in awe making you blush. “You’re so beautiful this way,” he said tracing lazy patterns over your back with his fingers. “I’m not beautiful ever,” you say hiding your face in the plush pillow. Thor tsks at you and straddles your hips to start rubbing your back, “Don’t speak of the love of my life that way.” he scolded. You blush and he smiles, “I like you this way. Well-bedded and slothful.” he kisses down your spine and if you had any energy left to spend there would be still more petals to fall. Thor was very hard to refuse. Even at his most irritating. The god only nuzzled the nape of your neck and kept rubbing. You needed to sleep and he could wait to indulge in you again until you could get the same enjoyment he did. The feeling of warm, rough hands on your back and the contentment of being blissed out and comfortably in bed put you to sleep a few moments later and Thor pulled you into his arms for a long cuddle. His queen was home and the scent of you and of roses was in the air. He could finally sleep peacefully.

When you do open your eyes you wake on your side, your lover’s hand on your breast and his arousal against you. You can’t avoid smiling a little. Even in sleep, he has his appetites. Thor stirs slightly and his hand lightly skims over your skin making you sigh and push against his hardness. Sleepily the god chuckles and pins you to the mattress, his hands lovingly but firmly holding your wrists above your head before you can process how. You smile lazily, “Good morning.” shifting slightly under him you part your thighs in invitation and he laughs his great booming laugh before reaching down to touch you gently parting your slick folds. You squirm and he kisses you slowly. It’s not a frantic or energetic time. He makes love to you slowly delaying your pleasures and drawing them out so that when he does finally enter you, you both tremble at the intensity. He stays on top of you, unable to move for a moment, supporting himself on his elbows as petals drift over his back. He looks at you, looking up at him with amethyst colored eyes love plain on your features and his heart swells. When he disengages from you and carries you to the shower you let him. You fairly cover him with kisses making him laugh and then moan as those kisses go lower and lower until his prick is in your mouth and you ply the tricks you’ve learned with lovers you didn’t really desire. You reflect that this is much more satisfying. The god is vocal. And deliciously filthy when you do this. His hands pull your hair without directing. There is no pushing your head or pulling you back and when you meet his eyes he looks feral. It’s hot.so much better than lukewarm praise and your head being shoved down. Afterwards, he kisses you and coddles you but often that’s the one time you won’t let him pleasure you… Damp rose petals are hard to clean up.

The others are eating lunch when you do come downstairs to the kitchen. You radiate contentment and relaxation and Thor has the unmistakable air of a man who’s been well fucked recently. It makes Tony say a few rude comments and you discreetly pull a rose petal out of Thor’s hood making Natasha smirk at you. You press your lips together so you don’t laugh. Thor plies you with coffee and pulls your feet into his lap on the window seat where you’re lazing in the mid-morning sun. He strokes your ankle absently and watches you sip coffee and scroll through your phone. Warmth spread through his chest and he couldn’t keep the sappy smile off his face. “Young love.” Sam joked pretending to gag. “Right?” Bucky said, tossing a packet of pop tarts to Thor. You roll your eyes too high on endorphins to care, “You’re just jealous.” Bruce said stroking the small of Natasha’s back. Natasha raises her coffee cup slightly, quietly telling you welcome home and you smile at her. You’d talk later. The teasing didn’t bother you as much now. It seemed less mean when your brain was behaving properly and not telling you that you were worthless. 6 months ago you wanted to die and now a literal god brought you coffee. Everything was perfect and if this moment could never end you’d be thrilled.


	5. Chapter 5

Thor watched you from his seat in a cargo plane. “Team Weird Shit” Comprised of you, Steve, Thor, and Clint were headed out to see about a disturbance. Steve because someone had to lead, Thor because of muscle, and Clint because someone had to be sensible and do sneaky things. So really. You. You were team weird shit with a posse. You were calm, reading a file, checking and rechecking facts. This was not near as scary for you as it was Thor. He was anxious you’d find him wanting. Or that you’d be hurt. You just wanted to get this over with. Hellhounds were straight forward. Kill them. Quickly. And then salt and burn.

A sword rested in its scabbard across your knees, and your whip lay coiled on the seat. Thor had seen you train, but he’d never seen you in a real stakes battle. Your expression is unreadable. Intensely focused. You crackle with energy, magic flowing around you as you prepare to call it forth and deal with the monsters. He’s both aroused and terrified at the thought of seeing you fight. He’s heard the stories, and he’s pretty sure he might be getting grey hair just from the stress. 

On the ground, you let Steve lead. Technically, you are not an Avenger. You’re an Agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. You’re there as a consultant. Steve leads, and he defers to you for which way to lead. Everyone wins. When you find the hellhounds, there are many, and they just keep coming. Your whip has been eaten by one, and you’re stuck on the ground in front of the biggest one. Thor, Clint, and Steve are all pinned down, and Thor cries out in panic, only to see you dive behind a building and come out, piece of chain in hand, jerking a sturdy knot in the end and manipulating the metal to hold it. You wrap the chain around the beast’s bloody, dripping snout and let the jerk off its head pull you upwards. As you fall, sword in both hands you behead it. Irritated and finally angry enough to let go of your stranglehold on your magic, you will flame into being to burn this one and the scattered remains of what had been called. You glow white. You don’t even look fully corporeal. You tell Thor later that in that state, you are not. Flames leap razing the whole town to ash to dispel the last of the dark magic that had been called. 

It is awe-inspiring, and Thor, the God of Thunder, drops his hammer and Drops to his knees. Bewildered and Dazzled. You are a creature he is unworthy of, but gods is he glad you belong to him. Clint and Steve walk over to Thor casually. They’ve seen this before and wait for you to will the flames out of existence. They wait. And keep waiting. The flames are dying down on their own. You aren’t looking at any of them. The fire. Or the sky. You’re staring at the road leading out of town. A woman is standing there in front of the village of terrified onlookers. She’s watching you. She doesn’t look much older than you, but something about her posture suggests she’s in her 40′s or 50′s. As the power flows out of you, spent and the glow around you fades, you’re still staring, and she’s staring back. You look like you’re trying to remember who she is. As you sink to your knees in the dirt and the rest of the team runs forward Thor hears you whisper, “Mom?” as your eyes close. Thor jerked his head up to look for the woman, and she was gone. As if she’s never stood there. You’re cold to the touch and Barton is pale as Thor wraps you into his cloak, clutching you to his chest. “We need to get her out of here.” Barton said Thor nodded, “I’ll take her my way.” he said, “I’ll be faster.” Cap had no clue what the rush was, but he nodded, trusting Barton’s instinct. Thor carried you straight into the compound, straight to medical for fluids. He wasn’t going to let anyone else move you despite his exhaustion.

He tried to protest at Bruce giving you a sedative and Bruce only sighed, “If she wakes up hooked up to machines she’s going to level the whole wing before we can sedate her and control the damage. She’ll only hurt herself more.” Thor relented, and Bruce gave it to you. A few hours later both Clint and Natasha were sitting with him. Clint and Natasha were pale, and Thor held your hand tightly. You were dreaming. Bad dreams, nightmares. You were pleading with someone to stop. Thor reached for you to wake you and you say bolt upright, hair flying, eyes wide, chest heaving. “Mom!” you cried out. “She isn’t here, sweetheart,” Natasha said kissing the hand Thor didn’t hold. You looked around everything falling in to place. Remembering where you were. Where you had been. Then collapsing into helpless, heartbroken sobs. You had seen your mother. She’d been so close you could have reached out to touch her, and she’d stared right through you. You were inconsolable, and no one tried to make the pain stop. They only banded together to hold you through it. When you recovered enough, and the tears stopped, Thor took you back to his room. The room he wished you’d just move in to and started the bath. He was too tired to hold you through a shower, and he knew you’d not be able to stand, so he compromised and decided warm water would help. You were mute and numb as he held you against his chest, but he hummed to you anyway. Barton and Natasha had gone to drink. And plot. So he tended to you himself. He murmured endearments and praised your skills. His Valkyrie. You are the strongest witch he knows. And his Mother, Queen Frigga was a goddess. He told you of Asgard, places he knew as a boy. Places he wanted to take you when you visited with him. He tried to soothe the storm in your mind. The nightmares you were fighting against sleep to avoid. 

When the water cooled, and Thor dried you and tucked you into bed, you cuddled into him, laying on his chest. Questions whirling around in your mind at top speed. Queries to which you had no answers. “Why didn’t she look for me?” you whimper, tears flowing silently down your cheeks, silent tremors of pain rocking your body. Thor just held you tighter, praying to Valhalla that when you discovered his deception, you wouldn’t turn away from him. 

In the morning, Thor woke to find you cross-legged and dressed on his bed, a hefty magic tome across your lap, reading glasses perched on the edge of your nose. You’re glowing faintly, luminous and shining. Dark shadows under your eyes tell him you haven’t slept and your intensity tells him you will not rest until you arrive at an answer. Whether you like it or not. Whether Barton and Natasha like it or not, he has a feeling that their entire house of cards is about to come tumbling down. Without a word you hop off the bed taking your book with you, bare feet slapping across the tile floor as you sprint down the hall. It took all night, but you finally have a spell. A spell that will show you secrets. Thor sat up, dressing quickly, cursing under his breath. He was too late by the time he reached your shop. You were entranced. Bespelled. And you were furious. Your eyes were black and unfathomable as you stormed down the passage, a bag slung over your shoulder. You needed to get out of the building before you brought it crashing down. 

Thor tried to stop out, reaching out to grab your arm and your skin burned under his fingers, hot enough that he recoiled from you and he felt the skin blister. He knew that was too much power. The lights flickered above you and Thor heard generators whir into motion. The hurt and betrayal turned the world shades of red, and you were so fast you were just… gone. Before anyone really knew what had happened. No one knew where you had gone either. Thor had Heimdall look for you. And Frigga looks for you. Clint and Natasha had feelers out. It was as if you didn’t exist. You were a ghost. Thor, Clint, and Natasha were wrecked. They had always known you would find out, but they hoped against hope this wouldn’t happen. They drank and commiserated, but both the spy and the assassin had to hold the god up as he slipped into despair. Weeks passed. Then months, And later finally, word arrived. You were alive. And safe. The woman Clint had given you to to finish raising you had finally seen you. Clint took the earful in stride and then grabbed a plane. It was time for you to come home. 

The whole team went. Mostly to help contain you if you did lose control. Thor looked at the hand he’d burned to touch you that day. It still stung from time to time, when he thought of your black eyes and the way you had dashed out of the building when you felt yourself too close to the point of no return, even in a haze of rage protecting others. Bruce held Natasha, kissing her hair from time to time. They knew. They all knew now, and they all understood the choice. And your reaction. When the plane landed, you had a sword in hand, going through training motions. Your hair was long. So long. Down to the small of your back. Your nose was pierced. And the shorts you were wearing… in another context, Thor would have quite enjoyed the swell of your ass and the way those shorts complimented it. Right now he just wanted to beg forgiveness. 

The meeting in the cabin was tense. You were still furious, and Clint and Natasha were defensive. They argued that it kept you alive and you wiped away hurt tears, hanging your head saying “Sometimes, I wish you would have just done it. I don’t know if I can do this.” the pieces of Thor’s heart disintegrated then. As you started to cry the two behind the plot had just held their arms out to you, “Death is not an option,” Natasha said, “You’re the only little sister I ever had. The only person I know who can deal with Clint’s fucking jokes.” Clint kissed your head, “Like it or not, we need you,” he said, “We’re all a family now.” You accepted. You forgave. But you still wouldn’t go back. So Thor stayed with you. He stayed and worked on repairing the hurt he caused. He coddled as much as you would let him and slept every night stroking the small of your back. Your hair a riotous mass falling over you. “Come to Asgard with me?” He asked suddenly one morning over coffee.

You pause, putting your hair up for the day, “Why?” you ask softly. “I love the most beautiful woman in the universe,” he said, “I have hurt that woman. I would like to make amends.” You sip your coffee and stare at him for a moment, “As you wish.” you say simply. Thor beamed at you and before you could ask when you were standing at the Rainbow Bridge, head spinning. You took a deep breath to calm your temper and settle your stomach. Thor laughed, pulling the one pin you were holding your hair back with out of your bun and tossing it aside, “Come, Y/N!” he declared, “Let me show you my kingdom!”


	6. Chapter 6

You look up at the god standing next to you. He looks so incandescently happy that you can feel yourself being less cross with him. “It’s beautiful, Thor,” you say softly partly because it was real and partly because it was what he wanted to hear and if you told him what he wanted to hear maybe he wouldn’t hear the anxiety in your voice. You keep telling yourself to breathe, willing yourself into a calm you don’t feel. Faking it for Thor’s benefit.

He’s introducing you to someone. Heimdal. You like his voice and his eyes. You smile, your best social engagement smile but you already miss the serenity of your cottage. Thor leads you to the palace like a returning hero. He introduces you as a lady which on Midgard you are not. You are a doctor. In fact, you are a doctor twice over. At 24. “He means well.” you remind yourself. Asgard is different. Expectations are different here. Here he isn’t a superhero. He’s a prince. You let those thoughts roll through your head a steady stream of reminders that Thor probably isn’t aware of your discomfort. That you didn’t want to meet his people in Jeans, no shoes, and a cardigan over a ‘Thanks, I hate it.’ Tank top. You pad next to him trying to look pleasant and calm, amused by the curious stares.

Thor is overjoyed to have you with him. You look so calm; the way a future Queen should look. Thor beams with pride, bursting into the great hall with a booming laugh. His mother and father are playing chess. They look up in surprise, his father frowns at you, but his mother smiles, “We did not expect you home so soon,” Frigga said, meeting her son a few paces from the table where she sat, brushing the hair from his eyes fondly. Thor kissed his mother’s cheek and smiled, “I brought Y/N to meet you both.” he said, kissing the top of your head tenderly. Your heart pounds in your chest so hard you feel like it’s hitting your ribs, but you smile as if you haven’t got a care in the universe, praying Thor did not let go of you because you might not be able to stand if he does. Frigga kissed both your cheeks, “My son has told me of your beauty, but I think he did not do you justice. You would be the envy of every lady at court.” You blush and murmur modest thanks, looking at the floor and trying not to draw attention to your bare feet, to give yourself a moment to find a footing. Thor leads you to the all father next, an arm tightly around your waist. Frigga is behind you, calm, kind, waiting. Odin takes you in from head to toe and sighs looking at you in something like distaste, “After your first Midgardian lover, I’d have thought your curiosity sated. The first one was irritating. This one could not even be bothered to wear shoes.” Your stomach drops and you blush harder. You try so hard to stay calm that Thor can feel tension creeping in. Frigga comes to your rescue, admonishing her son, “Thor!” she scolded, “Did you allow your lady no time to make provision for the trip?” She removes you very gently from Thor’s side and takes your arm, “Sweet girl,” she said kindly, “Come with me. We’ll see you dressed properly.”

You don’t want to leave Thor, the only anchor you have in this strange land but neither can you refuse. So you go along, murmuring thanks and willing yourself calm again. It was harder without Thor’s bulk next to you that you could take comfort in. Frigga was quiet until they were out of earshot and out of sight, leading you to a bench where you could sit. “It’s all right, child.” she comforted, sitting next to you. You put your forearms on your knees and lean forward until the room stops spinning, and Frigga puts a cold hand on the back of your neck. She shivers at the heat radiating off your skin and tuts softly, “Someone used you badly.” she said. It was a statement.

Not a question. “Your magic is not of Asgard, but someone tried to make it so, not knowing that it could not be.” You sit up slowly and tug your cardigan closer to yourself. Really it was Thor’s. Thor’s and several sizes too large for you. The sleeves had been rolled up several times, and the hem came to your knees. There was some comfort in the fact that it was his. You and Frigga sit for several minutes while you calm yourself. She is a silent presence warm and understanding without you needing to explain. It makes sense where Thor got his open heart and a friendly smile. When Frigga stood, you followed. The walls had stopped moving, and your stomach had settled slightly. Frigga led you to a chamber and summoned a maid. The girl was told to do whatever you had asked and to run you a bath and fetch you clothing more appropriate to a banquet. You thanked her and Frigga smiled, “Sweet girl,” she said, embracing you. “When Thor came to me and pleaded with me to find you after Heimdal could not, I did find you.” You wince your time in the cabin was not… not something you had wanted anyone to see. “Your pain threatened to tear you to pieces, and yet here you stand. Thor is correct to call you a Valkyrie. And one day, you will make him a fine wife. A queen who can keep him in line.” You blush, and she kissed your cheek gently before leaving, leaving you in the hands of a capable maid.

Thor takes Frigga’s seat in the chess game, hoping to master his temper before you return. He’s angry at himself. In his haste to help he just humiliated you. He said a prayer to Valhalla in thanks for his mother’s wisdom as he watched the feast be laid out. Thor stands when Frigga returns, and she pats his arm, “Really my son.” she chided, “That poor girl.” Thor winced, “I’m sorry, mother,” he said hanging his head. “I’m not the one you humiliated.” she said, “I had them put her in your rooms for now… I’d go see to your guest.” Thor nodded and kissed her cheek before going that way. Thor let himself into his chamber and dismissed the maid who was keeping up a lively stream of chatter. Fresh from your bath, skin warm and lovely Thor watches you a moment as you brush your hair. He takes the brush from you gently and begins unsnarling your hair tenderly. You keep your eyes down, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Unable to hide your scars as you usually do. Far from home and feeling off balance. Thor can see the outline of your jaw as you clench your teeth over the words you want to say to him. Your wrists bare in the gown his mother selected for you, “Y/N, please look at me. Speak to me. Call me a fool. Anything.” You can’t make yourself do either. You fold your arms across your body to hide your wrists where you tried and failed again in your cabin thanks to an increased healing factor. Thor accepts your silence, “I’m sorry.” he murmured, beginning to braid your hair.

You keep your eyes on your lap, and Thor kisses your neck tenderly, “We’ll only stay the night, I’ll bring you home tomorrow. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. The tower. Your cabin. Jotunheim… I don’t care. I’ll take you.” He picked you up and placed you in his lap carefully, kissing the insides of your forearms, “Please. Forgive me, I’ve done nothing but cause you pain recently.” You look up at him slowly, your eyes are so silver and colorless that at first, he thinks you’re wearing novelty contacts. He’s never seen that color in your eyes, and he doesn’t know what it means. “There’s nothing to forgive,” you say in a whisper, “It’s not your fault. You were trying to help. You had good intentions… I just would have liked some time to adjust.” Thor cuddled you, “Tonight will be fun,” he tried, skimming his fingers over your abdomen trying to find the ticklish spot that made you squirm, trying to make you laugh. Nothing. You’re relaxed in his arms but don’t seem to feel him.

He kissed your head more for his own comfort. You were controlled only because you willed yourself to be. He made a silent vow not to let your eyes ever be that shade again. The feat was fine. Thor coaxed you into eating, and you received several compliments on your dainty appetite and lithe physique. Thor was proud for his people to see you. You watched goings on, smiling and responding to questions socially, but he knew that you were struggling to hold yourself together. Frigga saw it too and gently suggested that an early evening might be a good idea as crossing the rainbow bridge could be difficult for a mortal.

Frigga did not tell Thor what seeing you had told her of your parentage. You’d had enough parent problems without complicating issues just now. Thor took the Out, making excuses to the crowd and escorting you to his room. He undressed you both taking extra care with you and tucked up into bed. “I don’t think I can sleep.,” you say quietly. Thor cuddles you close and nuzzles your jaw, “Shall I tell you a story, my love?” he asked, “Maybe if I drone on long enough you’ll rest.” You laugh a little, nodding and he pulled you on top of him where he could feel the weight of you, feel you solid and comfortable against him. Once he was situated, he traced slow, idle circle on your back and began to tell you a story. His voice deep and rumbling against your ear like thunder. He continues long after you sleep, talking to himself mostly. Hoping that he can help you stay asleep. Then maybe the morning will look brighter. Especially since Asgard does not have coffee. Thor dreams that night as he often does, of you. He sees the future he wants with you. Children and comfortable home. He clutches you tighter and holds you to him until he wakes.

Thor watched you, through half opened eyes nervous energy crackling around you. You were turning your phone over in your hands you looked like you were waiting for something. Thor sighed sleepily, “Even on vacation you don’t sleep in.” he rumbled, holding his arms out to you. You turn and look at him, smiling a little as you crawl into his arms. He reclaims you, stroking the bare skin of your back and letting his broad hand rest on the curve of your bottom. It felt right in his arms. “Bruce was going to test this today,” you say showing him the phone you held. “Oh!” he cried laughing, “Your project! Excellent!” Thor kissed your nose and smiled. You can’t be irritable at him for long. He was just so loving. All the time. You smile a little, “What time would it be on Midgard?” she asked. Thor thought for a moment, “About 10 am.” he said consulting the clock on his mantel. You nod, biting your lip in anticipation. If it works, the call should be coming in any moment. “C’ mon Bruce.” you murmur, “Team lab rat can do this. We can do this before Tony.” Thor smiled, you were practically twitching in anticipation and staring at your phone. He swatted your bum affectionately, “Banner can do it.” You smile up at him, “Well. We were testing the earth portion today… I may be a little out of range still.” Thor winced, “Sorry, my dearest,” he murmured kissing your forehead. “You just moved up our testing schedule,” she said, kissing his shoulder. Minutes passed, and you waited. It felt like forever. Just as Thor was mentally preparing what to say to comfort you. The phone rang. It rang, and you cried out, a whoop of joy. “Team lab rat with the win!” you say as Bruce’s face filled the call screen. “This is beautiful on my end. Clear. And I can see way more of Thor than I want to… Where are you?” You kiss Thor’s shoulder to distract him before he had time to think about Bruce not minding her being wrapped in a sheet. “Asgard.” Bruce choked, “Wait. The phone works off world!” he whooped. It was amazing. 

The two of you talk logistics and future tests for a moment and Bruce finally said, “We’ll talk more when you get back… You are coming back, right? We miss you here.” You sigh, “Soon.” you say. “I have some loose ends to tie up before I come back… I kinda ran away and joined the circus again.” Bruce laughed, “I’ll tell the others. We’ll come to see the show. Be safe.” and the call ended. Thor tipped your face up to his, capturing your lips in a kiss. “I am so proud of you,” he said kissing you tenderly. You feel your cheeks color, and Thor shifts your weight, so you’re straddling him. “I am proud of you, and I miss you.“

There was heat in his eyes that made you suddenly aware of just how long it had been since you’d made love to him. Thor had been patient with your need for space and time to heal, but clearly, that patience was running thin. You feel his fingers knead your backside and hips. Thor loved women. Loved everything about them. He didn’t have a body type preference you knew. He’d love you regardless of weight or hair color or scars. He’d fuck you like an animal as often as you’d part your thighs for him anywhere you would have him. It had been proved time and time again. Your ass though seemed to be his favorite. His favorite thing about jeans was just able to put his hand in your back pocket. You can feel his arousal and your own need starting to rise. “Show me how much?” you say, caressing the stubble on his jaw with your thumb as you cupped his jaw.

Thor needed no more invitation. He took control then, and all your thoughts were of him. Your senses were flooded with him, the feel, the smell, the taste, the sound. That was all there was, was him as he made sure you knew exactly how much he’d missed you. He was a savage as he pushed into you, again and again, driving you to orgasm while delaying his own to make sure that you got exactly what you deserved. Rose petals burst into being falling around you, and each burst of petals seemed to spur him on. You had a brief thought that he might need to carry you back to Asgard as you may not be able to walk. Thor was close and rapidly not able to hold back. His rough hands flipped you over onto your belly, and you hear him sigh in extasy as you present yourself to him. “Gods, woman.” he growled, pushing into you, “You’re going to be the death of me one day, Y/N.” You moan softly, and he reaches around you to touch you before beginning to pound into you, wanting one more orgasm from you as he found his own release. When you both tumbled into bliss again Thor sank his teeth into your shoulder to muffle his bellow, and you cried out, the pain from his bite drowned out by the feeling of pleasure. Thor stayed inside you, kissing and nuzzling the forming bruise on your shoulder. You can feel the contrition in his touch, and you smile a little, “Are you alright?” he asked softly, shifting so he could pull you into his arms. You rest your head on his shoulder, “I may not be able to walk but… yes,” You smudge a kiss against his chest, “I missed you too.” The god smiled at you, eyes soft “I can carry you,” he said confidently, scooping you up and carrying you to the bath chamber as if to prove it. He ran water making sure there were towels and anything you could ever want before easing you into the warm water and following you to pamper you. You relax against his chest with a sigh, and Thor chuckled. The tub was large and built into the floor. It was almost as broad as a swimming pool but not deep. Definitely made for a Prince and not the likes of you. Thor didn’t seem bothered as he coddled you, washing your hair and skin with gentle hands. Thor was good at this, but then, he’d been practicing a long time. 

Thor felt something in his chest unlock from the night before as he watched you relax under his touch. The bruise on your shoulder was rapidly darkening, and it made him feel a twinge of shame, but he was comforted that it hadn’t seemed to upset you. He brushed soft kisses against it and spent extra time caring for you. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said, “I didn’t mean to bite you so hard. I’ll be more careful in the future.” You blush and kiss his neck, “I’m okay, Thor.” Thor nodded and admired you as you lazed in his arms, “I’m pleased then,” he said, “I’m not… I don’t usually enjoy marking my lovers so… violently. I’m not a savage.” He sounded ashamed of himself, and you pull him down for a kiss, “Of course you aren’t.” you say softly, “It was an accident, and I’m not upset with you. I’ll heal.” Thor seemed comforted by that and smiled a little, so you decided to continue, to tell him a secret.

“Before I was yours I didn’t even enjoy sex,” you say. “I just… It wasn’t like it is with you. It was an obligation.” Thor made a sound you couldn’t identify the meaning of and kissed you passionately, “That is a travesty,” he murmured, “Your body is made for pleasure. I’ve never had a lover who brought me the intensity that you do. You lose yourself in me, and I never want to stop fucking you.” You blush scarlet, and his booming laugh erases any of your embarrassment. “You think that I exaggerate and I promise, I do not,” he said, “I have never had a lover like you, Y/N. I adore having you in my bed. I knew that I would the moment I kissed your hand. What I didn’t know is how easily you would steal away my heart.”

You look up at him, cheeks rosy and lips slightly parted. Thor was in a romantic mood today, and it caught you off guard. “I love you, Y/N. You’ve stolen my heart, and I cannot seem to want to steal it back.” You start to reply, and Thor fondly kisses you quiet, not to avoid hearing you but to continue, “You don’t have to say it back to me today. Or ever.” he said, “I just wanted you to know. I feel like I’ve done you so many hurts unintentionally. I just want you to know that I will never knowingly hurt you.” You smile, it’s so beautiful to Thor that he can feel a pain in his chest, “I love you too, Thor,” you say kissing him, “I don’t know how if I was ever whole without you.” Thor beamed. He pulled you tighter against him and for a while, there were no more words. Only rose petals and sighs.

When you left Asgard and Thor’s opulent rooms behind, several confused maids cleaned rose petals off the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

Back on Midgard in your cabin, you pack while Thor eats a pop tart. You really did agree to run away and join the Circus for a week or two. You did it when you were a teen and off and on while you established yourself in your field for some extra funds to live on. Now it was just fun. Time with friends, a vacation of sorts. Thor leans against the counter watching you. His heart felt full. You loved him, and you admitted it. He felt pride and a sense of peace. He knew your heart the way he knew the contours of your body, he knew that once said, that “I love you” was as good as a vow. He munched his pastry and tried to imagine the perfect ring for you. Something elegant. Not ostentatious. Something with Amethysts that would match his favorite color in your eyes. He’d thought about it for what felt like ages. Ever since he decided that you were his. Now though, words said, he felt like it was time to make things a little more concrete. He didn’t fear that you’d stray, never that. He just… he just wanted to do right by you. To make sure his words and actions were aligned.

You can feel the warmth of Thor’s gaze on your back as you pack your things into your bag, “Are you coming with me or do you have business elsewhere?” You turn to face him, smiling a little. Your body is still sore from his intensity this morning, but it’s a pleasant sore. Nevertheless, you wince slightly as you settle on the arm of the sofa. “I’ve never been to a circus on Midgard,” Thor said grinning at you, “I think I’d enjoy it.” You pick up your bag, “Then let’s go.” you say, holding out a hand. Thor takes it and lets you lead him to your jeep. You drive for hours before arriving at a farm. Thor has no idea where you are, and he doesn’t ask. The wind in his face and the sun in your hair are soothing. 

When you pull down the gravel drive, Thor realizes this is where you spent the last gasp of your childhood. Children pour out of the house crying your name. You hug and kiss all the children who come up pulling on your hands and pulling you towards the house. He is Thor. Prince of Asgard. God of Thunder. But you are you. Here you’re the hero to every lost child you help to guide when you come home. He watches you swing a little girl into your arms and hug her tightly, and he longs for the day that you have his child in your arms. The tenderness in your face sweetly breaks his heart. Thor grabs the bags to find a man about your age waiting to help him, “Let me give you a hand;” he said smiling, “The children aren’t going to let Y/N out of their sight for a while.” Thor nods his thanks, taking the heavier of the bags. “Thor,” he said offering a handshake. The man nodded, “Rowdy,” he said laughing, “Rowdy Thompson.” Thor walked with him in companionable silence to put bags in your old room. Thor noted that the bed was small. Very small compared to what he was used to but that was fine. It meant that you’d have to be close to him. “Let someone know if you need anything,” the man said, “Things are a little hectic right now, but someone will be around.” Thor nodded, “Thank you, Rowdy.” he said, repeating the name, so he did not forget it.

Thor looks around. It’s clear that this room is yours. Pictures cover the walls. There is one of you, Barton, and Natasha. Barton and Natasha have arms around your shoulder, and you’re all laughing. There are Photos of you and Coulson. Photos of you and your friends. And one picture, in particular, catches his eye. It’s a younger you. You look rail thin, and you’re smiling shyly at the photographer. Your clothes and plain and your hair is cropped short. He realizes that this is days. Maybe weeks. After you were rescued and he touches the photograph carefully. Looking at the pictures is like watching your evolution. Watching you become the woman he loved. Overwhelmed by the emotions, he feels he sits on the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. He stays that way a long moment until he hears the laughter of children and your helpless giggles. He crossed the floor to look out the window and smiled, you were teaching little ones how to do cartwheels. It was not going well. Rowdy and a tall woman of middle years lounged in the shade, just watching, smiling. 

Thor wandered out to join them, waving. The woman smiled, “You must be Thor,” she said, voice warm as she stood to take his hand. “Indeed,” he said kissing her knuckles gallantly. She laughed, “I can see why Y/N is so taken with you… I’m Callista. You can call me Aunt, everyone does.” The woman was beautiful in her way, tanned skin, snow white hair, and beautiful green eyes. Tall for a woman and slender she exuded quiet confidence. He could see her posture in you. In the way, you straightened your back and looked everyone straight in the face. He smiled and tried not to just start blathering about how grateful he was to her for raising his love. Aunt only smiled, she seemed to know, and Thor felt as if he was talking to his mother for a moment. It was comforting. Thor could see how you found your peace here.

Thor took a seat on the fresh grass and watched. You’d gone from cartwheels to playing soccer. Your shoes were gone, and you were already dirty from rolling around with all of them but Gods. You looked so happy. You shone like stars. You literally had a glow, a warm glow that shimmered around you. After the Children had been herded away for a lesson, you wander over. Pretend to stagger and flop over in the grass, wiping the sweat off your face with the hem of your shirt. “Hello, darling.” the aunt said smiling. “Hello, Aunt,” you say smiling. “Y/N,” Aunt said, “I’m glad you’re home. We’ve missed you here.” You pull yourself up slowly, and Thor pulled you to him so you could rest your back against his chest. You sigh, “I’m sorry,” you say, “Things have been busy, and it’s been hard to actually get away.” Aunt reached over and took your hand, “You’re here now. And we have two weeks of work to occupy you with.” she said fondly, squeezing. You laugh, “Am I doing set up, tear down, training, performing? What do you need?” Aunt and Rowdy both laughed and Aunt simply said “Yes.” You snort, “Alright. Let’s caffeinate and get to work. I need to shake the dust off before I hit the tightrope and the ceiling beams.” You spring to your feet all energy and enthusiasm and Rowdy holds out a hand so you can also haul him off the ground with a groan, “I knew it. I knew Y/N was going to roll up and I was gonna have to do shit today.” You clasp Rowdy’s forearm as he gripped yours and you haul him up efficiently.

Thor watches the two of you head towards the barn trying not to be jealous at the way you had just casually touched the other man. You touched Barton, Bucky, Sam, Steve, Tony, and Banner randomly all the time. It had never bothered him before. This Rowdy was a childhood friend. It wasn’t anything to worry about. Aunt intuited his thoughts, “Rowdy is more likely to be attracted to you than to Y/N,” she said smiling a little. “That’s part of why they work so well together in the circus. He could literally have her breasts in his face when he lifts her up and be unphased.” Thor felt his lips twitch and his cheeks color sheepishly. Aunt watched Thor, smiling, “You have questions.” Thor grinned, “Many. And I suspect many more I don’t know about yet.” Aunt grinned, “Ask.” Thor nodded, “What is this place?” he asked. “A sanctuary.” she said simply, “A place for Children that have no other safe place to go.” Thor nodded, “Do they all return here?” he asked. Aunt smiled sadly, “I would like them to. But no. Not everyone does, some of them make their own way after their time here. But Y/N, Rowdy… The ones that know no other safer place than here… They return. Often as they can.” Thor nodded, “Do you know about her? Her family. Where she came from?” The aunt smiled, “I do. I piece things together for every child eventually. Your love is of this planet. Just of a people older perhaps than yours. The Sidhe. So far as I can tell if they ever decide to acknowledge her, she’d be a princess.” Thor blinked, “Does she know that?” The Aunt smiled, “We discussed it when she was last here.” Thor smiled, “Thank you, for protecting her.” Aunt said nothing but she stood and offered Thor a hand. It was calloused and work-scarred but comforting. There are sounds of reunion in the barn, laughing and teasing. Thor knows those sounds well, and it makes him happy knowing that there is such a place for you.

The next two weeks are frantic, but Thor loves it. He watches you thrive, he can literally see the restoration of your soul happening. You play with the kids and teach them. You train them. It’s heartwarming watching you hold little hands and guide small feet as they take uncertain steps over balance beams a few feet off the ground. He can see the Sidhe in you now that he knows it’s there. It’s in your voice. Your eyes. Your mercurial nature… at least some of that is Sidhe. Watching you re learning all your tricks and learning new routines is nerve-wracking but watching you with the “cousins” is his new favorite. You laugh and dance and joke. Gods were you a merry lot. He desperately wanted children with you now. Something he had never wanted before, not even with Jane. You glow. You are warmth and light. At night after long days when you’re sore and tired, Thor holds you on his chest as you sleep. It’s just so right having you there and comfortably tired. 

To open the show, the team turns out together. Thor is happy to see them but sad that you banished him from the backstage so he’d stop trying to soothe your pre-show jitters and so he’d not see your costume before you were in it and doing your bit. Clint went to hug Aunt, and she slapped him. Hard. “Clinton Francis Barton, what did I tell you when you brought me that child?” she barked. Clint flinched, “I know.” he hung his head and Aunt turned to Natasha, “You especially should know better.” Natasha swallowed hard and sighed. That out of the way Aunt pulled them both into a loving, bone-crushing hug. “Francis,” Tony snorted, making Steve kick his ankle. The lights dim and the show begins.

You have an ethereal glow from your place in the rafters, and when you started your act, Thor was enthralled. You moved with such grace and assurance as you plummeted and climbed. Your costume left little to the imagination while still giving you dignity. Gods he wanted to put you against the nearest wall and take you. He hadn’t taken you since leaving Asgard, and his need was getting distracting. Outside Thunder rumbled ominously, and Natasha smirked at him, “Easy, big boy,” she teased. Thor grumbled, not taking his eyes off you. The thunder intensified, and rain started to fall only adding to the mystery and intensity of your act with the exotic sounding music. Bruce leaned down to kiss Natasha’s shoulder, “Fucking rose petals everywhere.” Natasha laughed and leaned against him comfortably. “Rose petals?“

Steve asked leaning around Tony. “White ones,” Natasha said grinning. Steve looked from Thor’s face where the poor man was clearly drowning in lust, and suddenly several deliveries of flowers and You cleaning up white rose petals on your bedroom floor made so much more sense. “Oh. My. God.” Steve groaned, “I did not need to know that.” Once Steve understands it spreads like wildfire. Tony cackled, “I didn’t think Goldilocks had it in him.” Bucky snorted, “You do know Thor is also a fertility god, right?” Tony made a face, “Ew.” Thor had no idea any of this happened. None of it. He was like a man bewitched. The spell you inadvertently cast only Broken when you took your bows and exited the arena.

Thor clapped with everyone else, cheering for you, beaming down at you. He only realized something was amiss when he noticed Tony staring at him. “What is it Stark?” he asked, feeling self-conscious. “So do you just throw white roses everywhere after you fuck or?” Thor felt his cheeks color, and Bruce suddenly realized what a mistake he had just made making that joke. “Tony,” Clint said, arms across his chest, “It’s amusing. You got to make Thor blush. Now leave it alone.” Tony went to protest, but at the glare from his teammates, he resisted.

After the show at a bar near the arena, you meet them for a drink, still in costume. You accept hugs and congratulations on not dislocating both shoulders again. Thor watched you, eyes hot. He desperately wanted you, and he didn’t think he could take touching you, so he busied himself at a pool table with Banner and Bucky who seemed to understand. There was still a storm outside, and the Thunder was getting louder. Thor watched you mingle, watched other men watch you. He could see that you weren’t aware of your effect and it made him smile. You really didn’t know how beautiful you are. It wasn’t until someone got… handsy that Thor even came near you. You were handling things. Or trying to when the man, a big man with a high opinion of himself, rested a hand on your backside as you leaned over the bar to order a drink. You belt the man in the mouth before any of the team near you even knows what happened and the man starts towards you. Thor is over the pool table with civilians scrambling out of his way before the man can reach you. “You fucking whore!” he yells, “Dressed like that you’re just asking for it. You fucking stupid cunt.” Thor steps between you and him, eyes blazing, “If you wish to keep your tongue, apologize to my lady and leave.” he ground out. “That ain’t a lady, mother fucker.” the man persisted. You try to lay a hand on Thor’s arm, to get around him and diffuse the situation but he literally will not let you. He’s going to protect you whether you like it or not. “Run.” you whisper to the man, “Just go. Now.” when Thor steps towards him the man realizes that running in is a good idea and he high tails it out of the bar. Thor turns to you and pulls you to him, “I had things well at hand.” you say smiling a little. “I know.” he murmured, trembling still from the rage of watching that man lay a hand on you. “Come on,” you whisper, “Let’s get some fresh air.” Thor traces your lips with his thumb and lays his jacket over your shoulders, “It’s storming out,” he says. “I wonder why.” you tease. Thor blushes but lets you take him outside, putting your small hand through his arm. 

Outside, you take him to a small stand of trees, laughing as you lead him protesting through the rain. Once there, you show him just how much you missed him too. You back him against a tree and kneel before him. Thor can’t even protest as you undo his jeans. As much as he enjoys getting pleasure with you, there is intense joy in the way you go about taking care of him. He doesn’t make it long before he climaxes and you smile up at him before kissing his spent cock and letting him help you to your feet as the storm quiets.”Better?” you ask smirking at him, “Much,” he sighs, “Thank you, my Valkyrie.” He kisses you and watches as you use magic to clean the mud off of your legs, “Come on handsome, I’ll let you buy me a drink.” Thor lifted you up and carried you back to the bar, looking like a warrior victorious, his laugh booming off the walls as he ordered a drink not just for you, but for everyone. Natasha gives you a knowing look smirking and you blush, making her howl with laughter. It was a night out for the books and as you tumble into Thor’s arms for sleep you feel whole.


	8. Chapter 8

The first time Thor comes to the tower to find you not waiting for him, he can’t help but feel dejected. You have a speaking engagement at a college. He’d known about it of course, but it was easy to lose track of time off the world.

He mopes around the tower making Nat, Bucky, and Steve all crazy. “Thor, big guy,” Bucky said pinching the bridge of his nose watching him stare longingly towards the door as if he was willing you to come home, “Just. Go. See. Her.” Thor sat up slightly, “I was not invited to the engagement.” Bucky sighs and looks at Steve and Nat for support, gesturing helplessly at him. “Okay. Road trip.” Nat sighs, “Steve get the Jet. We can all hang out while Thor gets it in. I’ll get us tickets to this Occult Shit conference thing.” The spy wanders out with her coffee and Thor looks confused, “Tickets?” he said. Steve nodded, “She’s doing a lecture series. People pay to go and listen to her talk.” Thor nodded, thinking, “What do I wear to such a thing?” Steve and Bucky exchange looks and takes him straight to Tony. Say what you would about the man, but he knew how to dress.

Stark gives Thor a once over his sunglasses and then looks at Steve, “You’re joking, right?” Steve sighs, “Come on, Tony. Just help the man find a couple nice suits so he can be comfortable in the crowd.” Thor sighed, “I’m comfortable like this.” he said, gesturing at his hoodie and jeans. “Jesus Christ,” Tony groaned, “You may be a literal God, but sometimes I wonder what Y/N sees in you.” Thor grinned, unrepentant and the mischief and the implication in his eyes was enough to make Pepper blush. “Thor, I’ll help you.” she said fondly, “Tony doesn’t buy his own clothes. Hasn’t for years… Something tells me this is going to need a woman’s touch.” Steve grinned and winked at Pepper as she took Thor by the arm and lead him out of the tower to go and find some suitable ensembles. Tony gives Steve a look, “I thought you were against the whole premarital Sex thing.” he snorted. Steve shrugs, “It’s a new era. Who am I to stand in the way of true love.” Tony rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, texting Pepper a couple of suggestions he thought you might enjoy based on what he’d seen your previous boyfriends wear. 

Thanks to Pepper’s intervention, Thor is dressed and getting many adoring looks as they walk into the conference center. The place is vast, and there are lectures on everything from Mythology to Metaphysics. Your lecture series on the history of witchcraft is in a large hall. It doesn’t take much to find it, there are banners to advertise it and a picture of you, wearing your reading glasses, leaned against a white wall with a stack of books in your arms. Thor beams, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. He wants to go and find you, show you the banner but Natasha gently reminds him that he’ll ruin his surprise AND make you nervous at the same time. Thor relents and settles in with the others, relishing the applause as you walk on to the stage. You smile at the crowd, polite, professional, a twinkle of humor in your eyes. It doesn’t take long for you to draw in the room. The suit is uncomfortable, but he does like the colors. They suit him, and he hopes you like them. It doesn’t take long for him to forget his discomfort and focus solely on you. Your lips and the hint of a smile. The way your readers slide down your nose. The shine of the stage lights in your hair, the elegant style leaving your neck bare.The way your clothes hug your body, modest and professional but still sensual. The black pencil skirt and a soft grey blouse. The choker on your throat a piece of velvet ribbon that matches your heels. And your voice. So confident. Assured. Thor radiates pride. When The presentation ends, and you exit the stage to thunderous applause, Thor is the loudest. As they file out of the Auditorium, Thor sees you on the steps in polite conversation with some of the attendees who were animatedly chattering at you. You were polite, but it was clear, very clear you just wanted to get something to drink and take a moment to stop talking. Thor looked at Natasha for help, and Captain America cleared his throat before she could answer, shouting “Dr. Y/L/N” to make you turn around. You see them and the relief that washes over your face erase the tired look in your eyes. You excuse yourself politely and make your way over, Thor bounding up to you before you have a chance to reach them, pausing in front of you on the steps. Even two steps down from you are not enough for you to tower over him the way he does you, and he captures your lips in a tender kiss, “Lady Y/N,” he rumbled, “I am still surprised by the depth of your talents. I knew you were a fine speaker, but that hall was enraptured by you. As am I.” You blush, and he kisses you again erasing everything you had been about to say about his clothes from your mind.

“Come on you lunkhead.” Natasha hissed, noticing the tremble in the backs of Thor’s knees, “Just do it.” Steve and Bucky exchanged glances over Natasha’s head, and their eyes widened, “Nat,” Bucky said, “Is he?” Natasha hushed him and smacked him on the arm, hands over her mouth waiting. Steve swallowed hard. The nervous energy coming from their Battled hardened Warrior was palpable. Even in profile, he looked like he was either going to be sick or run away.

“Thor,” you say smiling tenderly, “I didn’t know you were coming. I would have made plans for you to have something to do other than listen to me drone on.” He looked so nervous, but then, he did like to fit in in a crowd, and this wasn’t a setting on Midgard he had necessarily ever been. “Your clothes look lovely. That shade of red is always my favorite on you.” Thor swallowed hard, thanking Valhalla for the wisdom of Pepper Potts. “Y/N,” he said, turning his head to kiss the palm that rested on his cheek. He couldn’t think, and his chest felt tight. A million doubts raced through his mind. He’d faced armies. Alone. And none of that had ever scared him as much as the thought of hearing “No.” from you.

“C’ mon man,” Steve groaned, “Just ask her. Take a knee and ask her.” Bucky looked at Steve, “He’s a prince, do they do that?” he asked. “This one fucking better,” Nat said shushing him again. 

As if he heard the whispers off to the side, Thor sank to a knee and gazed up at you, longing and adoration are written all over his face. Your heart leaps up to your throat, “Thor?” you ask, mouth dry. This isn’t happening, is it? “Y/N,” he said softly, “My love, the queen of my heart. Every day your beauty, your talent, and your affection bring colors into my life that I had never seen before. Please, from the bottom of my unworthy heart, Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” You can’t breathe for a second. You just can’t get air into your lungs to make words come out. Tears spring into your eyes as they turn the brightest blue Thor has ever seen. The sky on a perfect summer day in his Mother’s garden. “Yes.” you manage after a heart hammering moment. Thor is on his feet and kissing you, pulling you to him and bruising your lips with his kiss. There are applause and some polite cheering.

Nat is practically bouncing, and the Boys are leading the cheering, which only intensifies when Thor actually remembers to give you a ring. A silver band set with an amethyst. He slides it gently onto your hand and kisses you softly, leading you blushing and stammering down the stairs. There are hugs and congratulations. Natasha sends a picture to every one of you, moments after he slid the ring on your finger, your hand on his chest gazing up at him radiating joy while he holds you and presses a soft kiss you your forehead. The photo is simply captioned, “She said yes!”


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of your conference is lovely with Thor there. He brings you nice hot drinks between talks and silently takes your briefcase when you need both hands for something while talking to someone. He’s supportive and never misses a chance to give your ass a quick squeeze where no one can see him doing it.

At night in the hotel room, as he undresses you for bed, he openly enjoys the frilly lingerie you wear under your blouses and neat skirts. He asks you the first night, kissing your breasts as he removes your blouse why such a thing was necessary when no one was going to see the magnificence. You blush scarlet and smile a little. You tell him that it’s a habit from your undergraduate days. You were only 17 you felt ugly and awkward, and it helped you feel like you had your life together when your under things were pretty. Thor frowns at you, not liking that you ever feel ugly or awkward and proceeds to banish all those thoughts from your mind. Outside storms rage as he loses himself in you. Lost in the feel of you all around him and the soft smell of roses. Once he’s sure you’re properly loved, he pulls you on to his chest. He finds it hard to sleep without the weight of you there. One hand on your backside, caressing languidly and the other threaded into your hair, he sighs. This. He gets to do this, with you. Forever. the thought fills him with happiness so complete that a gentle storm starts outside, just for you. To lull you to sleep.

The god’s light snoring and the storm combined with the pleasant exhaustion of strenuous lovemaking send you almost straight to sleep. Thor always seems to know exactly what you need and he does it so readily. He never even balks. He just cares for you. Need tampons? A quest to the store. Haven’t eaten in two days because nothing sounds good? Here, Y/N. This might help and it’s something to satisfy a craving you couldn’t even identify. He was amazing and he was yours. You quietly reflect that whatever you had done to deserve so much adoration you were quite glad you had done it. 

The return from the conference saw an Engagement party in the tower. There were hugs and congratulations and gushing over just how cute it was watching that massive warrior gently cradling your tiny self against him. You thank pepper for helping him select suits and teaching him to roll the sleeves up on his dress shirts. She winks at you and you grin. It’s a nice party, lots of champagne and thankfully, Natasha had made them pick some other flowers besides white roses. “That’s not for you all to joke about,” she said, “I know the fuck like rabbits and it’s just unfair but pick something else. Y/N is fond of peonies. Let’s use those.” So there were peonies. Steve sweeps you onto the dance floor, winking as he steals you away from Thor for just a moment, your skirt flares out as he spins you into him and you laugh. “I swear, Sunshine.” he says grinning, “If he’s not the luckiest man in the galaxy… We thought he was gonna lose his nerve for a second there.” You giggle, “You did not, there’s no way.” Steve spins you and then dips you, “Honest, doll. He was gonna run away or throw up on your shoes. His knees were shaking so bad I don’t think he had any choice but to take a knee on the steps. That’s love right there.” Steve looked wistful for a second and looks back at you fondly, “If he hadn’t been scared I would be telling you to cut and run right now. Any man that isn’t terrified to ask you to marry him is not the man you should marry. But I think you’ll be alright with the big lug.” Steve returns you to Thor and shakes his hand again, “You’re a lucky man, Thor.” he says grinning, “You take care of her, you hear?” Thor beams, bursting with pride and his booming laugh fills the room, “I intend to Captain, never fear.” You smile up at the Asgardian and he looks down at you, kissing you softly, you taste like champagne and strawberries. The whoops and cheers make you pull away blushing and Thor chuckles as you hide your face against his chest giggling. As the Party wraps up and it’s just the Avengers left in the tower, you are tipsy and overflowing with love and contentment, dancing with Clint. Or rather swaying awkwardly as you’re both singing the song that’s playing. Thor leans against the bar with a beer, watching you. His eyes are soft and he looks like a love-struck kid. Natasha patted his arm, “You did good, Thor.” she said. Thor looked down at her and blushed slightly, “Youtube was helpful,” he admitted. Natasha laughed, “It looked like you were going to be sick for a second there.” She poked his side teasing. Thor laughed, “I have faced down Armies. I have faced my Father’s Wrath. None of them scared me so much as the thought that Lady Y/N might tell me no.” He watched you, giggling as Clint passionately sang the wrong lyrics to the song, and his heart swelled, “I never wanted anything as much as in that moment and it wasn’t until I was going to ask her that I considered she may not feel the same way… The Norns smiled on me when they saw fit to put her in my path. When they saw fit to make you drag her out to meet us.” Thor took Natasha’s hand and kissed it, “Thank you, for introducing us. I owe you my happiness.” Natasha felt her cheeks color and she took a sip of her drink to have something to do with the hand Thor wasn’t holding. 

Thor released her and watched as Tony decided it was his turn to dance with you and whirled you away from Clint. Bruce pulled Natasha to him, kissing her hair and leading her on the floor. Thor smiled on the goings on, drinking his beer, letting Bucky tease him about his terror on the steps. And the Thunderstorm that had happened later. Thor wasn’t one to kiss and tell but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy the banter at an appropriate time, so long as it was at his expense and not yours. “I thought that storm was going to last longer, there big guy.” he teased, sipping his drink. Thor laughed and it boomed off the walls. He only shrugged, “I’ll endeavor to try harder next time.” Bucky turned to where you were sitting with Nat, sipping Champagne, cheeks flushed and laughing at whatever conversation you were having that was making Steve blush. “I’m happy for you,” he said, quickly taking the chance to Swat Sam on the backside as he passed. “Y/N is a good girl. A real class act,” he grinned at Thor, “But then, you already knew that or you wouldn’t have been chasing her so hard.” Thor looked at him questioningly and Bucky laughed, “You have a type. She is exactly that type.” Thor nodded, “I suppose so,” he said, “But so do you.” looking to where Sam had joined you, Steve, and Natasha, Sam putting his feet in your lap pretending to faint from exhaustion after cleaning up the kitchen. Bucky only smiled. 

The next few weeks were domestic bliss. You moved into Thor’s room and applied your self to training and work, happy to be engaged and even more happy to be engaged and able to be with Thor. Thor goes on missions and helps in Asgard but always comes home to you as soon as he can. He’s devoted. And then suddenly, one day he can hardly bring himself to touch you. Thor of all people afraid to so much as brush your thigh with his hand when he rolls over. You’re hurt but you wait. Perhaps he’s upset. Perhaps he needs some space. You leave him be, trying not to be wounded by it.

Thor wants you. Desperately. But he can see the changes in you now that he knows what your energy looks like. Now that he knows how it changes and what those changes feel like. He can’t bring himself to think about it, afraid of hurting you. Afraid of what could happen if he tells you what he knows and then it isn’t meant to be. It doesn’t take long for others to notice the distance either. He can feel the stares and quiet accusations. But like so often before, it’s Natasha who finds him in the kitchen, drinking alone, avoiding going up to bed because he doesn’t think he can keep his hands off of you and he doesn’t think he can keep this secret much longer. “Ok, spill.” The spy says throwing herself into a chair and glaring at him. Thor sighs and looks down at his bottle, turning it in his hands. If he doesn’t give Natasha a good reason he might very well not leave the kitchen alive. “Y/N is with child,” he said quietly, his usually booming voice almost a whisper. Natasha blinks in surprise, “And what, you’re afraid to hurt her?” she asked. “She doesn’t even know yet,” he said, taking a drink of his beer. Natasha processes this for a moment and nods, “And you’re afraid to tell her.” Thor is silent, brooding for a moment, “What if I tell her, get her hopes up and then… and then this little one is not meant to be ours.” Thor looked at Natasha pleading, “I’m not trying to hurt her. I want this. I want her. And children as many children as she wants to have with me but after… After everything before,” he stops, unable to make himself finish that thought. He wanted to cry. He was so desperate to nuzzle your belly and fuss over you that it hurt. That was his child, a prince or princess of Asgard growing inside you. Natasha’s face softens and she pats his hand, trying to offer some comfort. “Please don’t tell her,” Thor asked. Natasha patted his hand again, “I won’t… maybe let her find out on her own first?” Thor nodded, “I think that may be best. If she knows and she tells me perhaps… if it’s not meant to be and she never knows it might spare her the pain.” Natasha got up to get him another beer and kissed his cheek, “How long have you known?” she asked, “I mean you do have powers in that department.” Thor smiled a little, “I knew the moment it happened. I thought at first it was wishful thinking but any time I looked at her I could see it.” Natasha nodded and got a drink for herself as well, sitting with Thor trying to offer what comfort she could. 

Unburdening himself to the Spy had helped somewhat. He was able to touch you again, able to make love to you again and lose himself in your attention. He watched the signs of new life get stronger all the time and his hopes rose. He coddled you as discretely as possible, pulling you away from your work for meals and making sure you took care of yourself. That had helped too, knowing that even if it didn’t happen the way he wanted, his child was being cared for properly. It wasn’t until you came to find him in the training room one day. It was the ground floor of the basement with cameras everywhere. There were several emotions written on your face and Thor took a deep breath as he walked towards you, smiling, “Hello, my love.” he said kissing you softly. You pressed into the kiss but pulled away, distracted, thinking. You wanted to tell him but the memory of before stopped you. The words froze in your throat. Thor knew. He knew what you wanted to say and he sat down on a bench, taking your hands in his, letting you pluck up the courage on your own, “Thor?” you say, “I have to tell you something.” He squeezes your hands, waiting afraid that any words he says will make you flee from him and he so desperately wants to shower you with all the love such a moment deserves that he can’t trust himself not to ruin this chance at facing your past for you, You take a deep breath and his heart races. “I’m pregnant.” you finally blurt out, saying the words like you’re ripping off a bandage. Thor laughs, his booming joyful laugh echoing off the walls as he scoops you onto his lap, covering you in kisses, happy tears running down both your cheeks. He holds you to him, bursting with pride and hope. Wrapping you up in love as he caresses your belly softly. “You are a wonder,” he said grinning, “You are a wonder and we are going to make a beautiful baby.”

Thor could have taken you right there on the mats in the training room but this, this required a soft bed and a warm shower. You deserved to be pampered within an inch of your life. And that’s what he did. He couldn’t stop touching your belly, kissing, caressing, nuzzling. Any time he could touch your belly he got the biggest, happiest smile on his face and you could tell that he was going to enjoy watching you grow your baby. Proof, he said, of the love you shared. In the soft glow of the sunset light, you both decided to keep the news to yourselves for a while. Thor quietly confided that he wanted to tell you about the baby the moment he saw the change in your energy but couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to you if you lost it before you even had time to find out for yourself. He also tells you that he wanted you to be able to face your past and make a good moment out of telling a lover you carried their child. You say nothing, you only kiss him tenderly and snuggle closer. 

The secret makes you both giddy. Thor is not a stealthy man but he does fuss over you, and try to be quiet about it. Your favorite is the way he wraps his arms around you from behind as you stand at the counter or at your work table to be able to touch your belly without being obvious about it. Neither of you really knows when to tell people, it’s still early and anything could happen but you do know that the time for being able to keep the secret is going to run out quickly. Thor is insistent that you eat and also insistent that your training schedule is scaled back. He also is more than willing to indulge the baby’s apparent sweet tooth, bringing you whatever you ever want to eat. Thor enjoys seeing the changes in you quite a bit. and the little bit of baby weight starting to fill out your frame is beautiful to him. You’re built small and so the changes come quickly, more quickly than you have time to actually change your wardrobe. Thor leans against the door frame of the closet watching you struggling to button your jeans and chuckles a little, wrapping warm arms around you. He looks at you, admiring the little bit of roundness on your belly and the slight fullness to your breasts. “Perfection,” he rumbled against your shoulder, “Gods, I could take you back to bed and keep you there for days.” You swallow hard and look down at your belly, your too tight jeans digging into your hips, “I don’t think we’re going to have a choice whether or not we tell people soon.” Thor rubbed your abdomen and grinned, “I think you’re correct.” You smiled up at him, he was so excited to be a dad. “Would you rather a boy or a girl?” you ask him smiling. “Healthy,” he replied instantly, kissing you. “So long as you and the babe are healthy and well I don’t care. I can teach either one to fight properly.” You giggle and he pulls himself away from you to let you finish dressing, taking a moment to swat your slightly fuller backside, enjoying how satisfying it felt in his hand.

The team finds out at a picnic. You all decide that you’re bored in the tower and so you, Nat, and Steve pack a lunch for all of you to take to the lake. you’re tired today, fatigued and moving slowly. Thor takes the heavy things out of your hands making Nat playfully tease him where no one can hear her and he grins sheepishly. 

The drive makes you feel nauseous with all the bumps and turns and Thor slips you a piece of gum with peppermint in it to help, holding your hand “How do you feel?” he asked, kissing the side of your head. “I’m just so sleepy today.” you murmur, “I can’t seem to get into gear.” Your basketball shorts and Thor’s t-shirt hide the swell of your stomach handily and you’re grateful no one thinks it’s out of the ordinary. Thor chuckles, “That’s normal, my love. You’re making a whole living being out of two ingredients.” You shush him and he laughs, cuddling you. When you arrive there’s a rope on a branch and Tony needles you about taking a turn on it, “C’ mon, circus girl.” he teases, “Show us all how it’s done.” he goes to pull you towards the lake to throw you in and Thor steps between you protectively, looking irritated. “Pointbreak, she swims fine.” he insisted pulling on you again and Thor knocks his hand away, “Stop, Stark,” he said in a tone that made the sky darken slightly. “Thor,” you say laying a hand on his arm to steady him. You can feel the others tensing, waiting for a fight to start and you sigh, “Tony,” you say when Thor looks like he has no intention of backing down. Tony doesn’t look at you and finally, the amount of male stupidity about to ruin a perfectly nice time makes you snap, “I’m pregnant!” you say, louder than you had intended but it does make Tony jump, a look of realization on his face. The sky lightens and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as Tony pulls you into a hug and apologizes quietly before loudly congratulating you. The others are almost as excited as Thor had been and spend the rest of the day trying to make you eat or literally refusing to let you carry anything heavier than a pop can. Partly in excitement and partly to tease Thor for having been doing it. 

Thor murmured endearments into your ear as he held you at the bonfire on the beach, enjoying being able to touch your belly as openly as he liked. At least once he caught Natasha’s eye and beamed. It was so much different than it would have been on Asgard. It wasn’t an expectation of you here. It was a nice surprise. He liked that.


	10. Chapter 10

Thor goes back to Asgard to tell his family that 1.) He is marrying you and 2.) You are expecting his child and cannot travel so far, and the wedding will be on Earth. Frigga is overjoyed, she’s waited a long time to be a Grandmother. Odin is less than impressed but is mollified somewhat when he learns that this Midgardian is not a mere mortal but one of the Sidhe. A powerful Sidhe at that. 

Back on Earth, the Avengers are already getting themselves psyched up to be good Aunts and Uncles to this baby when it arrives. Everyone takes their promise to look after you seriously. You can’t go anywhere without someone trying to get you to eat something, drink water, or reminding you to take your vitamins. It’s heartwarming even if it is frustrating. Nat is relentlessly teasing you for your constant cravings for spicy food that subsequently leave you with near persistent heartburn. So much so that there are antacids in almost every room you frequent. Steve drags you out of your lab at least once a day for a decent walk. Bruce won’t let you near his lab on the off chance anything he’s doing might hurt the baby, and so he shifts his focus from making technology with magic to learning how to defend against magic with you showing him years of theories so you can do things in your workshop instead. Sam and Bucky are kind of… lost about the whole thing but you haven’t had to carry a box of files to your lab since the picnic. Tony is Tony. Already planning weird baby gadgets and relentlessly insistent that you have to be expecting twins and not just one child. You protest that it’s only been 12 weeks and Nat gently pokes the belly that’s rounding out and getting harder to hide under your blouses, “Yes, but you are tiny and we,” she said gesturing vaguely at everyone, “Are going to need time to adjust.” Clint, who’s got Children of his own, is the most sympathetic. He knows you’re fatigued and overwhelmed with all the planning you suddenly have to do just tries to help you do it, help you figure out how to get it all done and gently reminds you that you do have time even though all your instincts and hormones insist that you don’t.

When Thor returns, his Mother in tow, she pulls you into a hug, kissing your cheek, “You look lovely,” she said, stepping back. It’s only 13 weeks, and you’ve already given up on jeans, swapping those for leggings and your tailored blouses for tunic length shirts just for comfort’s sake. Thor introduces his Mother, who really just came for a couple days to see you and make sure her son was behaving. Thor pulled you aside and kissed you tenderly, “How do you feel?” he asked, trying to keep the worry from his tone. “Tired,” you say smiling a little, “But the doctors say all is as it should be, though they say this is going to be a big baby. 13 weeks but measuring what they should at 15 or 16 weeks.” Thor kisses your nose and chuckles, “Have you eaten yet?” he asked, “Gotten any rest?” You nod, “They’ve all been making sure I’ve not worked too hard.” Frigga smiles and watches her son, satisfied at the worry in his face smoothing out and the tenderness in how he touches you. She’d much rather see a child born of love and out of wedlock than in wedlock and out of obligation. The next two days, Frigga spends time with you in your workshop, getting to know you. She likes what she learns. You’re intelligent, hardworking, loyal, and very brave. An excellent Queen, though you’ll have to learn court manners. Thor behaves himself while his mother is visiting and doesn’t touch you beyond chaste kisses and backrubs. You already ache for him and being near him but unable to feel him the way you want is driving you mad. 

It takes ages for him to return. And when he does, he walks straight to your workshop, weeping onto your shoulder, clinging to you as if you’ll just disappear if he doesn’t. “Thor, sweetheart, what is it?” you ask, trying to give him comfort, settling him in the comfortable chair that Clint had moved to your workshop so you could put your feet up and still get work done. You set him there, and he pulls you into his lap, burying his face in your neck, explaining everything. Dark elves, Loki, having to save Jane Foster from herself, and the Death of his mother. You take it all in, letting him tell you everything and just hold him. Your heart breaks for him, but you don’t know what else to do besides be there and give him the support he had once given to you when your own heart had felt irreparably shattered. Thor runs out of tears to cry and just clings to you, a strong hand resting on your stomach. The life inside you is stronger, and that brings him some comfort. You are here and real, and this child is going to be beautiful because they’re going to have your dazzling eyes and his hair and your heart. His grief is palpable, and you do everything you can to soothe him, letting him lose his pain in pleasure with you however he can, even if it means merely sitting in the commons with your feet in his lap while you read a book and Bucky tries to teach him about football.

Thor has precious time to grieve though, the battle with Ultron erupts so quickly that the team very nearly falls apart altogether. In the campaign, a city in the sky with terrified civilians trapped and your team outgunned you make a choice. A choice to run headlong into the fray and do your damnedest to get them all home safely. Thor is furious with you, demanding you stop. Demanding you run, hide, and protect the little life inside you. It’s the first time you ever shout at him. You yell at him that if you don’t help them there, it isn’t going to matter because there won’t be a baby to protect because she’ll be dead along with the rest of the world. Thor hangs his head a moment but kisses you and lets you go. He knows that he’s right and he knows that at this moment if you were to pick up his hammer, you would be worthy. He loses sight of you shortly after that and prays to Valhalla you come back to him safely. 

You do not. You fought well and bravely, saving nearly everyone at least once but as Steve carries you off the battlefield in his arms. The god hits his knees, openly weeping as he takes you from him pleading for you to just open your eyes. You’re barely breathing, and Clint has to force him to let go of you so medical can save your life. You kept your team, but the child is lost. Thor holds you as you cry, shedding tears himself. He wants to be angry. He wants to say he warned you, but he knew. He knew there was no way you could ever just sit at home and let the others fight without you. You were a Valkyrie by nature if not birth. Thor leaves you with the Avengers again and Goes home to check on Asgard.

He faces Hela and the Grandmaster. He sees the fall of Asgard. And he faces it all not knowing if you live or die on Midgard. He faces it all with your picture, his favorite one of you, next to his heart. Your hair is in what Nat had called “space buns” on your head, and you’re wearing his cardigan, an old t-shirt, some old jeans, and no shoes. A coffee mug cradled in your hands as you lean on the counter. You aren’t looking at the person taking the picture but smiling at someone, your head turned to look at them. He doesn’t know why he loves it so much. Probably because it’s candid. Because it just is you, warm and silly and loving. When he does return to Earth, Stormbreaker in hand, he almost doesn’t recognize you. 

You are on the battlefield, hair long and loose, a white streak coming down from your part on the right side. You wear armor, and your sword and whip are in either hand. You look thin, so thin for a moment he worries for your health. But then he looks behind you, You’re leading an Army. The God of Thunder realizes that the Sidhe had brought you home, made you a princess and given you an army. The Blue tattoos that band your arms and legs glow and your eyes are black as you hack and slash your way through. Thor feels a pang in his chest that he did not get to see you crowned and pushes it aside quickly. He can make it up to you after the battle.

So he thinks. Until he fails to kill Thanos and you disintegrate in his arms. Even when he does kill Thanos, it doesn’t restore you, or his people, and he falls into a depression that he cannot shake. For the first time in his long life, he understood the depths of the despair you would have felt when you tried to take your own life at 11 years old. He wanted to die but, like any coward, he reflected, he did not have the will to do it himself. Valkyrie, Bruce, Korg… They tried to look after him, but without you, he couldn’t seem to pull himself together. You were his guiding star. He tried to drown his sorrows, but reminders of you snuck in at every turn. Coffee made him think of sleepy good morning kisses, Roses made his heart ache so bad he thought it would stop beating, the changing colors in the sky were your eyes.

Always your eyes. He couldn’t bear it. Natasha had tried once to get him to join her, and when that failed, she’d brought him pictures of you. “Things to remember Y/N by,” she said. It had taken all his self-control to let Valkyrie take them from him to prevent him from burning them. Gods. You were supposed to be here. To be HIS. His queen. To help him and help his people make sense of all this. The pain and Loss. In a way, he was thankful you were gone and couldn’t see what he had done to himself, the way he let himself go. 

When Banner drags him from his New Asgard and marches him into Stark Tower once again, the memories slam into his chest. You haunt this building for him, and the pain is so intense he almost turns to run. Then he remembers, you are not a being of pure joy. Your moments of Joy are fought for. Your happiness is borne of knowing what it means to be so hopeless you can’t go forward. Your joy is helping to mend what’s been broken, and this is his chance. A chance to do something to make you proud. To be worthy of you, after all. When they pitch time travel, he can hear you, clear as a bell saying, “Fuckin’-a. Let’s do it.” And so he does. Seeing you from a distance in Asgard nearly kills him, bare feet and his cardigan looking so out of place. “That’s her, huh?” Rocket says. All Thor can do is a nod. Rocket eyes Thor and then looks back at you, “She’s a cutie,” he said, not bothering to elaborate and ask what Thor had done to attract her. Thor talks with his mother, retrieving the stone and his hammer, returning triumphant. 

The team assembles the gauntlet and Bruce snaps. Thor has no time to consider anything else, whether or not it really worked because there is a battle coming. He almost doesn’t believe it when you step through the Portal with your army. You ride astride a gigantic white Stag with silver horns that reach towards the sky. A battle cry in your throat as you charge forward, sword in hand. He had no time to stare at you throwing himself into battle and making sure you did not see him. He did not want you to see him as he was now. He wanted you to remember the God you knew before. He catches sight of you from time to time, fierce and unstoppable as you move forward. Once fighting alongside many of the other ladies to protect young Peter Parker. It’s not until the end of the battle when he sees you with Clint that he realizes he can’t breathe looking at you. Even crying, dirty, and covered in blood, he just wants to kiss you. To feel you against him again after so long but he can’t seem to make himself move. Clint meets his eyes over your head and gives the god a bittersweet smile, about to gently turn you towards him when Rocket just shouts, “Hey, Elf! Does this belong to you?” You turn and when you see Thor, the world stops turning for a moment. Everything stops and there is nothing but This man. This king. You only register that he’s there, you hardly have time to even notice things that have changed about him as you fly into his arms. Tears are still running down your face and he can taste them on your lips as he crushes you to him to keep you from really seeing him. Thor is trembling under your hands and when you look up at him you see tears on his face too. 

He cradles your cheek in his hand and wipes tears away, “Gods, woman.” he whispers, “I missed you.” You kiss him again, not caring that your arms can’t fit all the way around him anymore. He’s there and he’s real and not just a dream. Thor tries to pull away but you hold tight. “Y/N, my love,” he says, “I have been a fool and a coward. If I was not unworthy of you before, I am now.” You only smile at him, “You’re stuck with me, Thor. I spent 5 years longing for this. I spent 5 years waiting to have you near me. I won’t let you take yourself away.” Thor laughs, a booming sound and you let one hand rest on his belly as he crushes you to him, “Now take me home.” you demand gently, “I’m tired and you have a lot of stories to tell me.” Thor kisses the tattoos that band your fingers and smiles, “As you wish.” And with the others, he takes you home. Or at least to a hotel until the tower can be rebuilt


	11. Chapter 11

In the Hotel room, you’re given Thor is shy. You try to get him to come to enjoy the shower with you, but he insists you need to go first and that he doesn’t mind. “Y/N, really. It’s fine,” he said, “I’ll just wait for you. I have some things I need to do.” You stand on your toes, pulling him down for a kiss, silently pleading for him to come with you. The god pulls away blushing, and you realize, and he turns away from you he’s self-conscious of his body. You swallow hard. You want to plead. You want him to be near you, but you know the pain of that fear, the fear that someone you love won’t also love your body. You sigh, “If you change your mind,” you say softly, “I’d welcome the company.” You pad silently into the bathroom and start the water for a shower, cleaning the muck, the blood, and the sweat from your body. You luxuriate in the hot water, singing to yourself.

Thor sits heavily on the bed, looking down at his stomach with disgust. It hadn’t bothered him when he thought he’d never see you again, but now that you’re here he just feels like you’re too good for him. Like you should be giving him a let’s be friends speech. Because gods. You are powerful. And hot. And strong. The two years before the battle had given you the confidence you didn’t have before. You didn’t even need him. You were a Princess in your own right, A queen, really. The one thing that keeps him from running from you is the fact that you are here. The future is here, and in it, you are alive. Thor growls at himself and starts stripping out of his armor. He’s waited 5 years to lay hands on you again, by gods he wasn’t going to let a little bit of fat get in the way of that. 

You stop in the doorway, wrapped in a soft towel watching the god angrily strip off pieces of his armor, “What’s wrong, Thor?” you ask softly. Thor stops and instantly his resolve to just go in there and take you vanishes as you let your towel fall to cross the room to him. He tries to hide his softness from you, and you only smile, gently swatting his hands away. You undress him with practiced fingers, as if you’d only been gone a day and not 5 years. Thor wants to push you away his cheeks burning in shame. You strip him and take him by the hands, leading him into the shower. You never once comment on his body except to say, “I missed this so much.” as you gently clean away the battle grime. Thor can’t help it, he just can’t he relaxes into the familiarity of your touch. So much so that he doesn’t even flinch as you feather soft kisses across his chest and his belly. He can feel the sex drive he tried so hard to kill with alcohol reawakening as you sink to your knees in front of him. He groans, and you pat his belly playfully, “Let me take care of you?” you ask. Thor can only just barely reply as a Thunderstorm stirs up outside. You smirk and take him in your mouth using all the tricks you knew he liked, stopping just before he got close enough to climax. “Woman,” he growled, hand tangling in your hair, “You’re going to kill me,” he panted as you licked up the underside of his shaft, making his knees quake. “Okay,” you say, “But first you’re going to fuck me.” It’s the purr in your voice, and the glow of amethyst in your eyes that finally breaks his resolve and you’re pinned between the god and the shower wall and he touches your entrance lightly, making you moan in need. 

Thor can feel his heart race. He can feel the energy around you. The glow of amethysts in your eyes, making him remember the bliss of feeling those magical rose petals on his skin. He plows into you, determined to make you his again. He reaches around to toy with your clit and chuckles at the wanton sounds you make for him. Those sounds he knew you could only make for him. When the first petals fall his rhythm stutters for a moment as a rush of emotions washes over him. The next moment he’s begun again, determined to make up for the lost time and make you climax until you’re too tired to stand. And then he’ll carry you to bed and do it again. He spends inside you and wraps his arms around you, cuddling you through the aftershocks, and you shiver, delighted at the feel of those beautiful hands on your body. “Thank you, my dearest.” he rumbles into your ear, giving your bottom a pat, “To think I almost walked out of the room… That would have been most foolish.” You gently turn to face him and reach around him to shut the water off, “Indeed,” you say, mock scowling at him, poking his belly to tease him, “It doesn’t say very much of my character if you’d think I’d walk away from you after you thought I was dead for 5 years.” You dry him gently, careful to show his body as much love as it deserves after everything he put it through to drown his pain. “I love you, Thor.” you say, letting him lead you to the bed, “Nothing is going to make me stop.” Thor blushes and parts your thighs, settling between them. He props himself up on his elbows, feeling his face heat as his rounded stomach fills the space between you. You only smile and pull him into a kiss that makes thunder crack outside, all too happy for a slow and snuggly round of lovemaking now that the desperate need had slowed.

Thor made love to you then as if you’d never been apart. He spent years dreaming of you, praying to Valhalla to take him so he could be in your arms this way. When you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer, he smiles tenderly and kisses you. The storm outside gentling as he did. You giggle at the tickle of his beard on your neck and close your eyes, relaxed under him. Thor moves in you slowly, basking in your warmth. When the petals fall around him again, he nearly cries as he climaxes. This. All of this is familiar and beautiful. He holds you for a long time, blushing as you lay your head on his soft middle, unconcerned by the change. He strokes your hair, admiring the white blaze that falls from your part and his view of your backside and that tattoos that band your skin to mark your skills and your status, the dark blue ink exotic and strange to him. He wants to run his fingers over each band. To kiss each new scar. But as you rest against him, sleepy and satisfied he can’t bear to disturb you. He can wait until you rally for another round.

You lay against his side, head cushioned on Thor’s belly feeling sleepy and loved. For you, it had only been a few hours. Perhaps a day. For Thor, it had been 5 years, and your heart broke for him. You pressed soft sleepy kisses into his belly, and he gasped and then chuckled when you found his ticklish places again. His startled gasp turned to a sigh when you stroked the inside of his thigh languidly before moving to straddle his hips.

Thor looked up at you on top of him, long hair brushing his thighs, tattoos on your arms, your chest, banding your fingers and wrists, circling your legs and he grins. “You look like a goddess,” he says. You blush, still shy about your looks, “It’s just hair and tattoos.” Thor reaches up to make you look at him and chuckles, “You do,” he insisted, “You are a goddess of Joy. Even if your only worshiper is me. When I saw you today, looking so fierce and so brave, I wanted to fall at your feet. And here you are, giving me love and giving me the care I don’t deserve.” He swats your backside, chuckling at your little yelp, enjoying the way your arse feels in his hands as he kneads your hips and buttocks with his fingers. “I may not deserve the favors of such a goddess, but I will spend the rest of my days seeking them.”

You lean forward and kiss him hungrily, nipping his bottom lips and grinding on his arousal. Thor swats at your arse again, harder this time and flips you on to your back with a playful growl. If you’re rallied enough to tease him you’re gathered enough for him to spend some time giving you the worship you deserve. You giggle, and he lets you for a moment basking in the helpless, breathless sound, letting it wash over him for a moment before making good on his desire to kiss every tattoo and every scar before making it rain petals until you plead for him to let you ride him. The storm outside is raging again as you ride him, steadying yourself on his belly, sinking your teeth into his neck to muffle a scream. When Thor finally finds his release, the crack of thunder outside sets off several car alarms and shatters at least one shop window. As he cuddles you through the aftershocks, he chuckles as you giggle against his shoulder. It is that way all night as you make love, sometimes tenderly and sometimes a fire until finally, you fall asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart.

Neither of you can be roused until afternoon and when you do come downstairs. There’s so. Much. Teasing. Everyone sitting at lunch is making a comment, but you only settle daintily on the arm of Thor’s chair, cradling a cup of coffee. You’re all here and alive, looking at the faces around you, the new friends and the old you say a silent prayer to the universe for allowing you to keep them. It isn’t until Peter strolls in musing aloud about the cause of that “Cool ass storm,” and Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Tony, and Pepper all turn to look at you with a knowing smirk that you laugh, snorting coffee out your nose. Thor thumps you on the back, his laugh booming off the walls as he pulls you still coughing against his chest.


	12. Chapter 12

Thor brings you to new Asgard where you’re welcomed as a returning Queen. It isn’t until Thor sees you visibly wince at his Tower and looks around himself that he realizes how bad things were. When you set down your messenger bag and start rolling up your sleeves to get to work, he just wants to kiss you. If you’re disappointed in him, he can’t see it. All he can see is you ordering Korg and Meek to get to work helping you set the place to rights. 

You spend two days working almost non stop to make the place livable. You don’t have high standards, but you do require sheets on beds and not plastic dishes. Functional cast iron cookware is a bonus. Brunhilde is impressed and wastes no time teasing Thor for being wrapped around your slender fingers. It doesn’t take long for her to come to respect your passion and your perseverance. Less time than that for her to be enamored of your cooking skills, becoming a frequent guest to eat, which allows you to quietly begin to understand what New Asgard could possibly need from you. You’re always quiet during these discussions. A princess now in your own right you’ve been forced into diplomatic things before, but this is not a Sidhe court. This is Asgard. You make a few comments, keeping plates filled and glasses full. Supporting Thor as best as you know how. Rocket and Brunhilde are the first to notice your struggling for want of things to do. A woman of action and vigor, Brunhilde told Thor, needs more to do than playing with the children and satisfy you. Asgard had been without an official Queen since the death of Queen Frigga and had adapted. You were beloved for your kindness but mostly unnecessary.

With S.H.E.I.L.D and the Avengers both dealing with the most extended peace in their memory, you had even less to do. When Thor muses out loud that it might be time to start a family Rocket slaps him across the face. “Look!” he said, pointing to your stable where you kept your silver horned stag, “Really look.” You were feeding the Staf from your hand, petting his neck and staring off into space. It was cold out, the first breaths of Autumn in the air but you stood barefoot and in a tank top and jeans despite the cold. Your perception of time, even reality around you had been different since the snap. When Thor tried to ask you about it once you simply shrug, saying that it all felt like a dream. 

You sometimes leave for a few days to visit the Sanctuary, but even that seems to bring no solace. With no work to do and no meaningful way to use your energy, you’re lost. After spending your whole adult life doing your job excellently well, with no duty to do you’re rudderless. Happy to be with Thor. Glad to be alive, but lost. Thor sighs, leaning on the railing as he watches you, wondering where you go in your mind when you stare off at nothing. “You’re right,” he says softly as you sink to the frosted grass to watch the sky.

Thor tries to give you things to do, and you appreciate it, doing each task to the best of your ability no matter how small. It isn’t until T'challa shows up with Natasha, Steve, Bucky, and Dr. Strange that Thor silently thanks Valhalla for intervening. T'challa has a guard, making this a state visit and when he bows to you, you look around confused by the pomp,“ Y/N, Princess of the Keltoi Sidhe, keeper of Secrets, protector of the first people; Wakanda asks for your aid.” he says formally. “Cool,” you say, nonplussed “Come on, tell me about it while I make lunch.” Natasha snorts and so does Bucky as they all crowd around the scrubbed oak dining room table. T'challa looks at Steve in askance, he still found you hard to read, “All you had to do was ask, man.” Steve chuckled, “She doesn’t use her title if she can avoid it.”

Once everyone was crowded in T'challa lays out the problem. Children are disappearing from in and around Wakanda. You listen quietly with your own plate of food untouched. You ask a few questions while he talks before nodding an involuntary shudder going through your body as you grope for words.

“The sisters.” is all you say ominously, looking at Natasha. The spy’s eyes widen slightly, and she reaches for you but thinks better of it when she sees the expression on your face. “The sisters are former nuns Imelda and Jessamine Bryce,” you say slowly. “Born in 1890 they started out small. Black magic to get their way. When they wanted more… Well. Souls didn’t seem so important anymore. They were my handlers during my time as a Hydra captive.”

Thor drops a hand to your shoulder from the back of your chair, stroking the end of your neck with his thumb gently. You don’t go into much more detail, but as the others argue about a course of action, you listen before finally saying, “You need good bait.” Natasha winced as Thor thundered, “I forbid it.” You stand and face him calmly, a scary calm on your face and smile slowly. More a bearing of your teeth than a real smile and Thor realizes that he made a grave tactical error. “You hold no authority over me,” you say. “I’m your lover. Not a hound to command.” Thor wants to pull you to him and kiss you senseless to banish the plan from your mind, but he doesn’t. You’re right. It’s dangerous but… Your whole life has been unstable, and he cannot just install you as queen and wrap you like glass. So he leaves Valkyrie in charge and gets on the quinjet with you. If he can’t talk you out of it, he can at least keep you slightly safer.

You sit dressed for battle cross-legged on the seat. Eyes closed. Thor sits across from you, aware of the curious stares from the Wakandans and from Strange who had never seen the interactions between you two before. Thor is unbothered by it.

When they drop you off, and you walk into the desert unarmed, it takes all his self-control not to run after you. You don’t look back. This is your chance. The chance you tried to take at 13 and failed. You could have vengeance for your younger self. Retribution for every child that they stole. You just have to make this work.

It was two weeks in hell for Thor. The god was anxious and irritable with everyone. Only Natasha, and now Clint, who came to be moral support seemed to understand what he was feeling. They had seen you the first time, small and broken on the floor of a cell. Natasha was mainly affected by it. She had had to cling to a door frame to resist running after you and forcing you back into the plane. She knew it was the best plan. She knew it was their best chance of bringing those children home.

Knowing that didn’t prepare her for the pain of seeing you being beaten when you were already broken. New incisions wept under dirty bandages, blood ran down your face, and you were breathing hard. She could see they had you manacled in such a way that you were forced to stand. Natasha and Thor crept into the room while the others worked to get the children. The man guarding you slapped you across the face. Hard. Hard enough to make your mouth bleed. Thor watched your head fall forward and bit back a roar. 

The only thing that stopped him was when you looked up, blood pouring from your mouth, and smiled. Your eyes were so dark black that it was like staring into a bottomless pit and you looked horrifying. The guard realized his mistake too late as you laughed, a low maniacal sound that made the hair on the back of Thor’s neck stand up. You glowed white your body phasing out of the manacles as you sprang forward and pounced, tearing out the guard’s throat with your bare hands. Natasha’s face was white as she pulled Thor after her, chasing you up the hall to catch you.

She handed you a sword and your whip. The fight was on. It was bloody and brutal. The Sisters were intent on killing you, but you were just as intent on killing them. Steel clashed, and your whip lashed. There was so much magical energy in that room that Stephen Strange had to stop just to admire the artistry of the combat. At the end of the battle, you stand on the field watching the Sisters burn and spit a mouthful of blood onto the ashes with disdain. Thor turns as the last HYDRA agent falls just in time to see you collapse a pile of ash and a pool of your own blood. Thor cries out in alarm and hits his knees near you. He’d known you were hurt. He’d known you were weakened, but he didn’t realize until now that it was only your magic keeping you on your feet. That it was sheer force of will and rage were the only reason you were able to fight.

T’challa spares no expense on your care, flying Bruce in to help Shuri piece together what they had done to you so it could be healed. Natasha cries outside the operating room, the guilt of letting you go weight in her Chest, but both Bruce and Clint remind her that as soon as the words left your mouth, there was no stopping you. Even Thor acknowledged that. You do recover, slowly. Too slowly for your liking. Thor only chuckles and says that you’re just impatient. 

He is attentive, bringing you books to read and anything you can be tempted to eat. When you’ve recovered enough, he sleeps beside you, letting you snuggle into the softness of his belly, wrapping his arms around you. Thor is a furnace for which you are grateful. So much of your energy is going into the healing that you’re always cold. His presence stops the nightmares. Or at least, he lessens them, soothing you back into a restful sleep with gentle hands and his deep voice drowning out the nasal whining of the Sisters that echoes in your head. When you’ve recovered enough to be out of bed, there is a feast. A celebration. The children you helped to rescue clamor into your lap, and you hug each one, gently reassuring each one that the nightmare is over. Their earnest faces and wide eyes make tears flow down your cheeks.

It soothes the rawness left by your time in captivity somewhat, and you can understand the pain Natasha had felt when she looked at you, a mirror of herself on the floor of a cell.

Okoye stands near Thor, watching you hold each child, heedless of your broken ribs and nods tacit approval. You had asked for this to be private, your own part in events unmarked. Thor can hardly breathe watching you. Three times now, he feared that he was going to lose you forever. And yet you were here. You were still you. You had taken everything that had happened, and everything that had been done to you and refused to be the weapon HYDRA had tried to make you. Okoye looked at Thor sideways and smiled a little, “You better marry that girl,” she said. “A King needs a strong Queen.” Thor only smiled, “I intend to. As soon as I can make arrangements… I asked her once. Years ago now, but The Universe seemed to have other plans for us both.” Okoye nodded and stood in silence for a moment before drifting away.

Back in New Asgard, you continue to recover. Thor stays attentive, insistent that you eat meals, and not hurl yourself into work and training. He wants you healthy. He wants you back at a comfortable place, where you were before your time as a captive, and the subsequent healing had made you so thin and fragile he feared he’d break you if he held you too tight. He hates being able to count your ribs as he undresses you for bed and the sharpness of your hip bones. Its summer and you’re always cold. Your hands on his are freezing and a breeze ruffling your hair makes you shiver. If you were impatient before, he’s impatient now. If you were so small and healthy, he wouldn’t care. You’re his love, regardless of size. It’s how fragile you look that scares him.

One night as he holds you, nothing seems to warm you and even in sleep, you shudder with cold. He wraps you in blankets and keeps you to him, awake all night to watch over you the way you had often watched over him when you first returned. In the dark bedroom, he says a silent prayer for your safety, kissing the scar on your eyebrow. Slowly, you manage to get yourself back to health with help from Brunhilde and Thor. Healthy weight and muscle tone fill out your frame, and it’s almost like watching you come back to life. Thor is still firm with his warriors, you are only to train for an hour at a time and never in full gear or at full speed. Even when he makes love to you, he holds himself back, reluctant to lose himself in you and set back your progress. The thunderstorms are as soft as the petals that fall. 

It’s quiet in New Asgard. Thor can almost see the appeal of being king as you sit on the Arm of his Throne, reading while he discusses goings-on with Brunhilde and… Loki of all people.

The return of his brother had been the last piece Thor had needed to restore the tranquility to his soul. The final bit of pain he had held on to that he could now let go of. He relaxed into your side, threading a lock of your impossibly long hair between his fingers as he listened. It was just right. A peace that Asgard had never really known while Odin had had the Throne. For the first time in centuries, his people had new knowledge and a new purpose. Thor noticed the way Loki watched you, a speculative look on his face as if he was waiting to see what you would do. He saw the way Loki tried to needle at you, poking, looking for a way to irritate you. It satisfied Thor to see him try and fail again and again to get under your skin.

He knew that it was killing Loki not being able to get a reaction out of you. That night as Brunhilde helped herself to more fresh bread and some more of the stew you had made, ravenous after training she laughed, “I don’t know how Thor managed to feed himself while you were gone. This is magical.” You smile, poking Thor’s belly teasing him, “Mostly Pizza and beer if the accounts are correct.” Thor laughs his great booming laugh and swats your backside before pulling you in for a kiss that makes your lips tingle.

Loki glances away, he doesn’t want to be jealous, but he is. He believes that Thor deserves the happiness you’ve brought to him. He believes that Thor is madly in love with you to the point that losing you robbed him of his will to live. But your stillness. Your calm. They make him believe that you cannot possibly love his brother. Not the way he deserves it. He cannot read you the way he can learn everyone else in the room. He can’t make sense of the colors in your eyes and the way you hold yourself, apart from the others but still so connected. When Thor pulls away from you and sees the warm glow of amethysts in your eyes, he grins at you but lets you go when you move to help Bruce before he spills his drink in his lap trying to serve himself.

Bruce turns slightly pink but leans back and lets you help him, sometimes learning to work one-handed was still difficult for him. You help him and kiss his cheek fondly before going back to the kitchen. Loki can see concern crease his brother’s forehead for a moment and then understanding when you busy yourself with some mundane kitchen task. Thor settles back into his chair with a contented sigh and stretches lazily. For a moment, he gets to be not a king but a man, enjoying a good meal and some good company. Loki wonders to himself how you bring this into being but then, in a way, he does understand that. You make no demands on Thor. Only requests and really only ever for his attention, something he would gladly give you without your asking for it. You bring his closest friends to him and make meals that are if not fancy, comforting. When you appear again next to Thor, settling on to the arm of his chair and picking up your book, Loki looks away again. Thor has pulled you into his lap, and you go willingly, resting your head on his shoulder. Today is a rough recovery day, and you’ve overtaxed yourself.

Loki can see that Thor knows it in the way he cradles you to him. It’s fascinating how quickly you can doze off when you get comfortable. Thor asks you a question and chuckles to find you asleep, hair covering your face. More carefully than Loki had thought possible, Thor stands and carries you up to the bedroom you share to tuck you in. Banner frowns thoughtfully after him, and the Valkyrie across from him notices, “What?” she asked. Banner shook his head, “I don’t like how easily she tires out still,” he said, “I need to get her back to my lab and run tests.” Brunhilde shrugs, “She’s not all-powerful. And she fought. Hard. While gravely injured. It’s not surprising.” The professor snorted, “You didn’t see her before the Snap. Even before she was a fully powered Sidhe… I saw her be thrown down 11 flights of stairs, and the next week, she was in a training room.” 

The Valkyrie blinks but shrugs after a moment, “Perhaps it’s for the best. Thor likes it better when she’s where he can coddle her.” Bruce snorted, “Yeah, maybe. I’d still like to run tests… They took pieces out of her.” Loki choked on his drink, “Pieces of what?” he asked coughing. “Bone, organ, vein, nerves,” Bruce said cringing, “When I asked her she said they took it to eat. That they intended to eat her one piece at a time.”Valkyrie pushed her plate away, face blanching. That she had not heard all these long months since you returned and she could have lived her whole life not hearing it. 

Thor walked back into the kitchen then and looked at their faces, smiling fading, “What?” he asked. Bruce took a deep breath, “I want to take Y/N back to the compound. I want to run some tests.” Thor took a seat, going from man to king in the time it took to pull out his chair, “What manner of tests?” he asked. Bruce explained again, reminding him of how quickly you could recover. Thor nodded, eyes getting stormy with his discomfort, “It could be nothing.” He said immediately, “But I’d rather run the tests and have it be nothing then let it go and have it be something.” Thor took a drink of his beer and sighed, “We will speak to her in the morning, my friend.”

Loki stayed with Thor after the others had left, sensing Thor’s desire to go upstairs and hold you. “Brother,” Loki said after a long moment, “Are you sure this Midgardian creature is the one you want to leg shackle yourself to? She’s not even the prettiest one.” Thor laughs softly, leaning back in his chair, “Loki, she’s… Y/N feels like home. Even on Asgard, I was never as comfortable as I am with her near me.” Loki made a soft gagging noise, “I almost miss when you were an unrepentant whore.” The blonde shook his head, smiling.

“I don’t miss it. Y/N stole my heart long before I ever had her in my bed.” Loki nodded, “And are you as sure of her affections in return?” Thor raised an eyebrow, “Why would you ask me such a thing?” Loki shrugged, “She’s just so… still. No one can see beneath the surface.” Thor smiled softly, looking towards the stairs with something like longing on his face. “I know what lies there. Y/N is made of love. Of joy. And pain. And longing.” He leaned back in his chair, lazily, “She doesn’t show it, but it is there. It glows around her. I can see it.” 

Loki nodded, accepting this and adopting Thor’s posture. “So what did she say, when you came home and saw the mess you made of yourself.” The God of Thunder snorted, “Nothing,” he said, “She said nothing except that she was hurt that I would think little enough of her that I would believe she only loved my body.” Thor felt his face color slightly, but his chest still warmed at the memory of you in the hotel room. He knew it was probably unnecessarily candid, but he also knew that Loki was going to get antagonistic soon if he didn’t puzzle you out. Loki raised an eyebrow, “Any talk of children? Or are you going to make me assume the throne after you get yourself killed?” Thor didn’t answer right away, remembering years before when you’d had to choose between his child and the rest of the children on Midgard. 

Loki saw a flash of pain in Thor’s eyes and was almost sorry he had asked about it. “There was almost a child, 8 years ago,” he said the dull ache evident in his voice. “But it was lost,” Loki had questions but decided not to press on that wound. Thor looked up, the pain vanished into something like hope, “But, Y/N adores children. She’ll be a good mother when we’re blessed that way.” Loki smiled a little, glad not for the first time that his brother was not the King his father had wanted him to be. Thor stood and stretched looking like a bear that had been taught to walk on his hind legs and Loki stood as well, “I’d best be off.” The Trickster said, “While you wish you could bed a sleeping woman, I have a room full of awake women waiting to bed me.” Thor chuckled, “Sleeping or not, she makes for a lovely view.” Thor pulled his brother into a hug and headed towards the stairs. He itched to touch you even if it was only chaste caresses as you slept.

Loki let himself out, looking wonderingly after his brother. He definitely missed Thor being an unrepentant Whore. It was a lot easier to make bawdy jokes about women whose names Thor wouldn’t remember in the morning. Banner and Thor find it hard to convince you to go back to a lab for testing. For the first time since Loki has known you, your face pales, and you shake your head. No words are said, but the terror in your eyes makes Thor pull you to him and hold you firmly to keep you in the room. “Oh my love,” he soothed, “Shhh, it’s all alright. Bruce doesn’t want to hurt you. No one wants to hurt you. You’re safe. With my last breath, I will keep you safe. I wouldn’t send you if I thought he was going to harm you.” You cry in frustration. You’re terrified and panicking and frustrated because you know better. You know Bruce would never hurt you. Thor just murmurs soothing bits of nonsense and holds you through it, waiting for the panic to subside. “I can’t breathe.” You pant, tears flowing faster. Thor settles in a chair with you on his lap, “You’ll be okay, dearheart,” he soothed, he put your head on his shoulder, one large hand stroking your hair while the other caressed your back. He just let you cry. He’d known this was going to happen and he knew you needed to work through it. You cuddle close to him and let him be your safe place to hide. He’s softer now, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t just as strong or that he doesn’t feel just as safe when he holds you in his arms this way.

Loki is struck by just how small you are compared to Thor. He’s bursting to make a snide comment, but the way Thor is holding on to you is enough to stop him. He’s seen his brother with Many. Many. Lovers. None of them have elicited the tenderness he sees at this moment. No one else exists for Thor right then. He and Banner could be fucking on the kitchen table, and Thor wouldn’t know. Banner rocks back on his heels and just waits for you to gather yourself. Once the initial shock wears off Thor bundles you onto the plane with Bruce but not before kissing you so hard Thunder rumbles in the distance. Bruce does his tests and works to fix the last of the kinks the torture left in your body. When Bruce isn’t fixing you, the other Avengers are distracting you. Not only do you miss Thor but being back in a lab, even with Bruce doing his best to keep things comfortable for you is hard. Girls nights with Carol and Natasha are fun but you miss sleeping next to Thor’s warm body and waking up in the night only to have his arms tighten around you, and his snores lull you back to sleep. Thor has a similar problem. He can’t sleep properly without you on his chest and the feel of your silky hair brushing against him. The bed feels too big without you in it. So he sleeps on the couch. Well. Sleeps as well as he can. The sofa isn’t comfortable for sleeping on either. That’s why you sleep on him when you sleep on the sofa. When you do come home, a custom cocktail of pills to take and a portion of your heart replaced, Thor, is overjoyed. You’re home, and you’re already looking better. Loki is traumatized. He made the mistake of walking into the house through the back door just as Thor was lifting you on to the counter and putting your legs around his hips. Loki was out of there so fast and blushing so hard that Valkyrie couldn’t breathe. She was laughing so hard.

Outside, a storm raged. Thor couldn’t bear being parted from you, and he couldn’t take not being able to touch you. He held back as much as he could, but you gave him no quarter. You were hungry for him after the deprivation of her illness, and you didn’t care if it left you exhausted and sore, you wanted him. Thor tried. Gods help him; he tried to be a gentleman and be careful with you, but everything about you drove him to behave like a beast. You were his greatest vice. He craved you. Like a starving man when a feat is laid before him, he devoured you. You took what he gave you again and again until need burnt it’s self out, and you were sprawled comfortably with your head on his squishy belly. Thor lay there a long time, fretting quietly as he toyed with your fingers. "I can feel you thinking,” you say in the quiet, “Stop it.” You turn your head to kiss the tummy you’re cuddling, and Thor chuckles, “I only just got you healthy,” he said, “I’d hate to be the reason your recovery took longer than it needed to.” You shrug, “Maybe you were just what I needed.” Thor chuckles, “I hope you’re correct,” he murmured, “I’ve been a king without a queen long enough.” You nuzzle his belly, finding your favorite spot to tickle and he laughs, “I meant an official Queen, my darling. The people already adore you. The only reason you aren’t your Majesty’ed to death is that you don’t allow it.” Thor admired the view of your bottom for a moment, contemplating finding a reason to turn you over his knee and spank it properly before continuing, “I think it may just be time for a Royal Wedding.”

You laugh softly, “Thor, I’m not Queen material, I’m not even a competent Princess.” You caress the softness of his belly, trying to distract him so he wouldn’t press the issue but there was no luck to be had. The god flipped you onto your back, pinning your wrists firmly but gently over your head with a growl. “Y/N,” he growled, making you shiver, “I have seen you walk into a lion’s den unarmed to save Children you had never met. You make choices and sacrifices time and time again in service of others. You scare Loki. You have lead armies and faced impossible odds. I have seen you stare your own impending death in the face and laugh. I wish I were the king you deserve, but whether you like it or not, you are the queen I need. You are the Queen of my heart, and it’s time for you to be the queen of my kingdom.” He releases your wrists and presses a gentle kiss into your lower belly, making you sigh, “Aside from that I will have no question that every child you bear is mine. Including this one.”

You gasp softly and card your fingers through his hair. You don’t ask if he’s sure, you know that he is. You know he’d not make jokes about that, not when he wants it this much. The tears start flowing before you can stutter out any words and Thor scoops you up gently, kissing them away. “I was so afraid they’d broken me.” you manage through the tears, and Thor hugs you tighter. “Oh my love, no.” he said, softly, “You could never be that.” Thor kisses you, covers your face in kisses until he makes you giggle and he laughs, his big booming belly laugh chasing away any leftover anxiety.


	13. Chapter 13

Thor really did try to be quiet as he rattled around getting ready for the day. You needed your sleep, still going through your last little bit of recovery on top of growing a baby.

He smiled at you, watching you sprawled on the bed comfortably, still sound asleep, as he pulled on his clothes. He was going to tell Brunhilde and Loki today that both a Royal wedding and a Royal birth were going to happen soon. He wanted them to know so that they could help keep you safe if anything were to happen. It had been a few weeks, and you’d missed two periods now. Thor decided it was time for someone to know. He was bursting to tell everyone he saw, but he understood your desire to keep it a secret, though your small frame wasn’t going to let it be a secret very long. 

Once he was dressed, Thor leaned over to kiss your cheek, and you sighed softly, looking up at him. “Go back to sleep, love.” he said, smiling, “I was just about to head to the training field.” You start to reply but your stomach turns over, and your feet are on the floor padding to the bathroom to be sick before you can say anything. Thor winced and followed you quietly. He held your hair and rubbed your back gently, apologizing. Once the spasm stops he lets you clean up and goes to the kitchen, making you some dry toast and some tea hoping it’ll help at least a little. When he finishes that he takes the dishes upstairs to you and finds you wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties, climbing back into bed. “My shirts always look better on you,” he says, tenderly brushing some hair out of your face after he hands you the plate of toast. You blush, and he kisses your nose, wrapping your hands around the warm mug. You take it with a pale smile of thanks, and he chuckles, “Hopefully that will help some.” You nod and nibble the toast cautiously, hoping he was right. Thor kisses your head and stands up to leave, “I’ll be back around lunchtime,” he said, “Don’t worry about cooking. I’ll bring lunch to you.” He’s gone before you can reply, You can hear him on the street, laughing and booming good mornings to people and a warmth settles in your chest as you carefully try and put some food in your stomach. The first part of the morning is the hardest, after that, you’re mostly okay.

On the Training field, Thor greets Loki with a smile and Valkyrie is not far behind him, taking a drink from her flask. Thor is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet wanting to tell them something and Loki and Brunhilde exchange glances. “Out with it,” she demands, taking another drink like she’s bracing for whatever fuckery is about to happen. “Y/N has set a wedding date for us,” he said. “It’s going to be a small wedding. Family and Friends with a feast to follow for everyone.” Thor beams, bursting with pride thrilled to be able to tell someone about the baby, “At the feast, we’ll announce that Y/N is also with child.“

Loki coughs on his coffee and Brunhilde smiled, thumping him on the back as she offered Thor a drink from her flask which he took. Only the one though, he didn’t want to come back smelling of alcohol when he brought you lunch. “Is this a secret, then?” the Valkyrie asked. Thor nodded, handing her back the flask, “For now. I mean it probably won’t stay secret long. It didn’t…” he trailed off for a second and swallowed hard, realizing for the first time that if it hadn’t been for Ultron, he could be teaching an 8-year-old how to fight properly, “Last time.” he finished giving himself a shake. “Well no,’ Loki said, “She’s a small woman.” Valkyrie and Thor start training, and Loki leans against a tree watching. He’d come to trust you a little more since he’d seen you break down before that last trip to New York. Still, he was hesitant to trust you too much. You were too polite to him, and it was weird. You were the same helpful and courteous that you were to anyone. You gave him the same smile and the same courtesy. It was bewildering but… nice he supposed. When Thor called a break for lunch, he invited them to dinner over his shoulder as he strode away, already knowing exactly what he was going to bring you. 

When Thor arrived back home, you were in the yard, leaning back on against your Silver Horned stag, a book propped up on your knees. He could smell dinner starting to cook from the sidewalk. Thor stopped and just watched you. You were content, you really did have a soft glow about you. He approached slowly, not wanting to scare you, and the stag laid his jaw carefully on your shoulder. The creature was meant to be a battle mount. Thor had seen him gore and stomp people to death, but off the field, he was gentle. Almost like a giant dog. He snuffled at your book and heaved a sigh, making you smile, “I know, baby.” you say, patting his neck, causing him close his eyes. “But for now, I think Thor might actually have a heart attack if he saw me light out of here on your back.” 

Thor laughed and it did startle you a little, but you smile up at him, “Several heart attacks, in fact.” he said, sitting in the Grass with you. He sprawled out beside you to kiss you hello and bent to also kiss your belly, “Did the little one settle down any, or are they still being contrary?” You smile and stroke his hair, “I managed to keep breakfast down in any case.” Thor kissed you again, “All you’ve had to eat was a little toast?” You nod, “I haven’t been hungry, and anything I do try and eat makes me too nauseous to eat it.” Thor nuzzled your belly, “Little one,” he rumbled, “You need to let your mother eat things so you can grow.” he admonished making you giggle at the tickle of his beard against your skin. At your giggle Thor takes it as encouragement, continuing to kiss your stomach, “You have a beautiful mother,” he whispered to the baby. “Don’t let her pretty face fool you, though. She’s tough. Probably tougher than I am.” You blush and murmur a denial, and Thor kisses you quiet playfully, “We have to be a united front,” he said sitting up to start setting out lunch, “That said,” he smiled, “Please try and eat love.” He was a little terrified that if you weren’t able to eat properly soon, you and the babe were going to be in serious trouble. You saw the worry in his face as you took the plate from him and kissed his cheek, “We’re fine, Thor. We’re both fine.” you soothe. “The baby is growing, trust me. The midwife and Aunt both say that everything is fine.” Thor kisses you softly, “I know you’re right.” he murmured, “I just want this one to be ours. I want to come home to see you and find you with a baby on your hip and…” You kiss him quiet, “Everything will be okay. I’ll be waddling, and you’ll be fretting about going to do things because you’ll be afraid I’m going to go into labor while you’re gone before you know it.” Thor laughs and presses the plate into your hands, the mental image made him happy. He absolutely knew that he was going to be a wreck when your time came. “Eat,” he insisted gently, “Eat and I’ll take you upstairs for a long nap.” You take a bite of the cinnamon roll he put on your plate. It wasn’t a balanced meal, but it was delicious, and the little one apparently had a sweet tooth because you could usually keep it down.

The god tucked into his own meal, happy to see you eating finally. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he was going to take you upstairs for a nap. You giggle as he swung you up into his arms and strode into the house. He didn’t take you upstairs though, he stripped off his armor and stripped you out of your clothes in the living room, pulling you into his arms on the sofa, cuddling you close. You could almost eat another cinnamon roll but think two might be pushing it, the one you did eat had taken the hunger pangs away nicely and now that Thor was home for the afternoon you had some things for him to attend to. Thor stretched lazily and sighed as you pressed soft kisses into his belly. He felt full and sleepy, but he was never too tired for that. He lay there steadily getting aroused, thunder rumbling in the distance as you kissed and nibbled on him. Thor adjusted you so you could straddle him comfortably, his belly brushing against you as he let out a low groan. He never thought he’d like having a soft middle but the way you rest your hand on it to steady yourself as you ride him or the feel of your head cushioned comfortably on him as you sleep has him rethinking things. Having you adore him just as much as you did when he was chiseled shifted a lot of things for him. He’s still Thor, God of Thunder and fertility even without being hard bodied. He’s still of Asgard, yet strong and fast even with a little extra padding. Honestly, his training before was less about being a good fighter and more about vanity, he admitted to himself with a sigh as you sink down onto him slowly with your own soft noise. Who needed the adoration of everyone when he had you. You rest your hand on his belly and the other on his shoulder and he smiles at you, “You can’t ride into battle, so you’re going to ride me?” he teased, swatting your backside. You blush, but the naughty smile you give him makes his cock twitch, “Problem?” Thor grins and shifts slightly so he can stroke your clit, “Go slowly,” he says when you gasp, “I don’t want you too tired for me to tell the baby all about you.” Your cheeks color and he laughs stroking you again lightly watching the amethyst glow in your eyes, letting you lead the way.to his satisfaction.

As the weeks go by and you prepare for the wedding, Thor enjoys seeing you round out softly. By the time you do announce that you’re expecting, everyone is already going to know. The wedding is in two weeks. You’ll be 16 weeks along by then, and already you’ve given up on jeans and switched to tunic length tops and leggings just so you can be comfortable and not have denim digging into your hips. “Just because the button doesn’t mean they fit,” he remembers you said, blushing when he commented on the change one morning. Thor laughed and pulled you into his side, cuddling your insecurity away. This morning as he watches you go through a series of gentle yoga poses, leaning on the kitchen door frame, he smiles softly as he sips his coffee. He decides sports bras and Yoga pants are indeed a gift as he watches you stretch, admiring your body. You’re filling out beautifully, and it’s a joy to kiss the stretch marks on your hips and watch your belly round out getting harder and harder for your loose fitting shirts to hide. He can feel himself wanting you and takes a deep breath, turning away before he has to take a cold shower. He’d much rather wait and take a warm one with you when you’ve finished your work out. He pours your tea and wanders back to watch you again, unable to tear his eyes away. Your belly is bare, and he just wants to touch you, to feel the soft, warm skin under his fingers. The shorts you’re wearing are short. Very short. Affording him a beautiful view of your fuller bottom and he makes a mental note to spend some time lavishing kisses on your breasts before they get too sore for you to really enjoy that. 

As you wrap up and walk over to him, Thor smiles, unable to keep from giving your bottom a swat as you lean on the counter sipping your tea, contemplating what you wanted to eat. Thor kneads your hips and bottom gently, admiring how you felt in his hands. Thor tore his hands away from you when he heard your stomach growl quietly, “Breakfast first.” he insisted when you start to protest. He sets about making you something to eat and kisses your neck as he sets the plate down in front of you. “Eat,” he insists lovingly, “Eat and just relax.” He cradles your belly and kisses your neck again, making you sigh. The God chuckled, feeling the want rise in you “I don’t want the little one to interrupt while I have my way with you in a moment.” he purs against your skin.

"I’ve got a long day ahead of me, and I need to be inside you before I go or I’ll be causing international incidents all day.” You sigh softly and put your hands on Thor’s, “I’m getting big,” you say quietly. “What’ll you do to relax before meetings when I’m too big and unattractive to make love to.” Thor makes kisses you softly, “Hush, love.” he soothed. “You’ll never be ugly to me. Especially not like this.” He kneels next to your chair and turns you gently to face him, “I love you,” he said, “This is our baby. How could you ever be unattractive to me while you’re getting more beautiful every time I look at you? I love seeing you get a little bigger every day.” You blush, and he chuckles softly, “It means you’re healthy, and the baby is growing.” His eyes twinkle with humor, and he nuzzles your belly tenderly, “Aside from that, I got fat just watching TV and eating pizza. You’re getting a little plump making a whole living person. If you could still love me after that, and I wouldn’t want you, I would be the worst sort of man.” You brush away a tear, and Thor kisses you softly, “Don’t cry love, just enjoy breakfast and relax a little, you have your own long day ahead.” You start crying in earnest, and Thor only pulls you against him trying not to laugh. He can’t really understand what caused it, but he knows that if he does laugh at you he’ll make you feel bad and he doesn’t want that. 

By the time he sees you having had breakfast and some much-needed adoration, Thor is late for his meeting. He smiles an apology to Bruce and the rest of the Avengers who have come to surprise you. Clint grins at him, “So how far along is she?” he asks, gesturing to Thor’s shirt that still had a wet spot on it where you’d been crying against his chest. Thor laughed, “17 weeks tomorrow.” The Avengers are all talking at once. They have a million questions. First and foremost, they want to know why it was such a secret for so long. Thor only laughs and shrugs, “She’s growing the baby she makes the rules.”

When you look up from weeding your Garden and see a small Army of people headed to your house you stand, basket on your hip. There are hugs and teasing. Nat touches your belly gently and kisses your cheek, “Happy looks good on you.” she said, smiling. Steve kisses your other cheek, “You’re going to name it after me, right?” You laugh, “I have a feeling it’s a girl, Steve.” Bruce pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, “You’ve got a 50/50 chance of being right.” You accept all the hugs and all the well wishes trying not to fret about how you were going to feed everyone. Thor reclaims you gently putting his hands on your waist, “Don’t fret, sweetheart.” he murmured, “I have a plan for all of this. He kisses your shoulder and wraps his arms around you to put his hands on your stomach

The next week and a half are full of preparations, but it does your heart good to have all of your favorite people in one place. Thor proved yet again that he knew exactly what you needed. At the wedding, you cry when Thor makes a promise to love you forever, and you cry harder when he kisses you. You say a silent thank you to the inventor of waterproof makeup. At the feast when Thor announces that you’re with Child there’s a cheer that goes up so loudly that you swear your eardrums might burst. Thor wraps his arms around you and kisses your hair. For the first time in the roar of Cheers, he can feel the early flutters of movement in your belly. He’s always just missed it before but now, standing at the dais with you he can feel it, and he laughs, for once, his laugh is drowned out by everyone else and the kiss he gives you makes you shiver. 

The wedding night is subdued, you’re tired. So very tired and all you want to do is be tucked into bed. Thor obliges you gently, stripping you carefully, pausing when his hands reach your belly, and he chuckles, “We did do this in rather the wrong order, didn’t we?” You smile, “Would you change any of it?” you ask. “No,” he said, shaking his head, “Not even losing you. It taught me the depths of pain… After that, I know that you really are everything. This,” he said, kissing your stomach, “Is everything. As long as I have you, nothing else matters.” You start to tear up, and he chuckles, “No tears love,” he soothes, “Not tonight.” The covers you in ticklish kisses until you giggle and your eyes start to glow gentle violet. Even if you were tired, it was hard to say no to Thor. He was always so earnest and so loving. So openly in love with you that it was hard to feel unattractive.

Not, as your belly grew and you gained some baby weight, that you didn’t feel ungainly and slightly ugly. Thor was always quick to put those notions out of your mind, kissing you senseless and the least hint that you might be feeling that way. The man seemed to thrive on watching you waddle everywhere. He was so excited to be a dad. Thor was watching you work in the kitchen, snow was falling outside, and you were making dinner. It was one of the few tasks he was currently still letting you do, albeit not anything strenuous and only if you stayed in bed the way you were supposed to with your partial bed rest. It had been killing you to not be able to help and so close to your time he and the Midwife had decided to give you a little wiggle room. At 3 weeks from your due date, as small as you’re built even just making dinner is sometimes enough to tire you out. You’re panting slightly, and Thor stands up, gently standing behind you and rubbing your aching lower back, “Sweetheart,” he rumbles, “Let me get Aunt, she can finish dinner.” He sees your head go forward slightly and your shoulders droop in defeat, and he shifts his gentle hands to where your waist used to be. “Y/N, it’s okay,” he soothes, “You’re due almost any time. You’re supposed to be upstairs in bed, letting us take care of you.” You sigh and nod, and he scoops you up carefully, “Let me take care of you.” he murmurs against your neck. He’s had to be gentle with you for months now, and it makes you feel bad. You feel like you’re failing as a mother and the baby isn’t even here yet.

Thor lays you on the bed gently and leans down to kiss the outline of a tiny foot, “I can feel you thinking,” he said softly, “Stop it.” He lets you get comfortable and spoons himself next to you, lazily caressing your belly to help settle the baby so you can rest before dinner. “Your body is creating a whole life,” he says, “You’re growing a whole new life in a body that’s been beaten, broken, and abused. You’re a miracle, and sometimes for miracles to happen, they need nurturing.” He nuzzles the side of your belly and smiles at you softly, “Let us help you. That’s what Aunt came all this way to do, isn’t it?” You nod and Thor just lets the matter drop there, resting his head on the swell of your belly and lavishing kisses on you as he rumbled a story to the baby, keeping his voice soft as he told his child all about the first time he kissed you, and it felt like taking a drink of good whiskey.

When your time does come, it’s three days in labor. Clint comes just to support Thor as Aunt, and the Midwife banished him from the room. His constant anxiety made you anxious and scared in the haze of pain and little sleep. They sit with Nat and Bruce in the living room. Thor winces at every agonized sound. He wants to hold your hand. He wants to make the pain stop. He wants… well quite honestly he never wants to have sex with you ever again to avoid feeling like he was killing you. Clint passes him a drink, and Thor takes it weakly. It’s been days of you in pain, but from the sounds upstairs it’s getting closer and closer. He can hear your Aunt and the Midwife both telling you to push. He can’t listen to what you’ve said, but it’s obvious you’re tired and at the end of your strength. “Come on, sweetheart,” Aunt says, “I’ve coaxed much bigger babies through much smaller hips. You can do it. One more push. One big push.” There’s silence for a moment and a scream as you do what you need to do. The silence the next moments is deafening. It rings in Thor’s ears for what feels like forever, and then there it is, the first breath of air rushing out of the baby’s lungs in a wail. Clint pulls him into a hug, and there is a cheer outside when Thor’s laugh rings out, and Thunder cracks through the air.

Aunt smiles tiredly as she comes downstairs, “It’s a girl,” she said, “A healthy baby girl. She and her mother are just fine.” She kisses Thor on the cheek as he goes to head upstairs, “Give us just a minute,” Aunt soothed, “Let us get them cleaned up and comfortable.” Thor frowned but nodded, still too impatient to sit and wait. When Aunt come back downstairs, he hardly hears her, he’s up to the steps and trembling in front of the door. He can listen to you inside, talking to his daughter quietly and he opens the door as silently as he can, just gazing at you in wonder. There’s a small bundle in your arms at your breast and everything about that moment is everything he never knew he needed. When you looked up and smiled at him, he smiles back slowly, coming to sit beside you and meet the newest love of his life. Thor kisses you as you wipe away tears he hadn’t been aware he was crying and Thor looks down at his daughter, fast asleep with her belly full in your arms and chuckles softly. “She looks just like you,” he said, “Exactly what I wanted, but I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me, your highness.” he says gently taking the baby from you to hold her for the first time, “Riley Grace,” he said fondly, “Daughter of Thor. You’ll never have to wonder if you are worthy. I can promise you that.”


End file.
